tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78315570518897240992024-03-07T03:56:08.945-05:00Out of the Blueblueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.comBlogger262125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-428893888876544402012-10-18T22:30:00.000-04:002012-10-18T22:30:43.688-04:00Emotional disaster<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sometimes I feel like I have no one to confide my inner thoughts for fear they will be rejected as silly or even worst, pathetic.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It's this kind of voice in my head that makes me feel as if I'm a glass full of water that always spills even with a small nudge. One word or one wrong move, regardless if it's intentional or not, results in me reacting too strongly. I know I shouldn't but it's hard to do otherwise.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">---------------------</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The brief walk around the neighbourhood eased my bored mind. It didn't matter that it was raining and windy - it actually felt good. it was relaxing. Although city air is not exactly the recommended fresh air, I welcomed it. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Fall is definitely not my favourite season but today was just perfect.</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-66355989190479007012012-08-23T13:07:00.002-04:002012-08-23T13:08:42.515-04:00it's been awhile<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Every now and then, I question where my life is heading. Are all my decisions right? Right for now? Right for my future? Am I really doing what I want or is my life really just a product of everyone else's idea of how it should be?</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sometimes, I even wonder if I am contented because I'm scared to explore another possibility or simply because I am really where I want to be. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I really don't know.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Despite of these thoughts, I am mostly happy. :)</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-27267044331015868062012-06-22T15:07:00.004-04:002012-06-22T15:07:47.454-04:00oh june<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It feels silly to write my thoughts now.</span><div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It feels unnatural to share and talk about my problems when just merely thinking about it makes me feel silly. It really shouldn't be a problem. The solution is simple yet I choose to make it complicated. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">---------------------</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I hope to write again one of these days. Not about problems but about blessings and happiness.</span></div>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-16213580292946960782012-05-05T14:00:00.002-04:002012-05-05T14:00:36.517-04:00<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sometimes I try to write but nothing comes out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Lots of exciting things to talk about but I'd rather literally write them down. Doodles with colourful pens, stickers and all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Did I mention I bought $50 worth of stickers? Erm.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Why must it be so easy to swipe that credit card? And why must there be so many cute things to buy? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">You would think at the age of 27 I would be more practical and not be swayed by cute things so easily but that is not the case. It was probably in my best interest that I stayed at the hotel for one day out of fatigue. Yes, fatigue. But now, thinking about it, I could have explored more that day. Sigh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-37408949011540109762012-02-26T23:42:00.004-05:002012-02-26T23:50:02.682-05:00thoughts<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">i like talking to myself.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">a conversation between my heart and head. which one should i follow? ideal or practical? yes or no?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">the questions linger but the answers never come. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">i'll just let things unfold, i convince myself.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">is it me or is it you?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">i figured one of these days, what's meant to be will happen.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">me: what would you do if i become a zombie?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">him: i don't know. i'll be a zombie too so we'll be together.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">me: what would you do if i'm a vampire?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">him: i'll let you bite me.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">me: what would you do if i become a bunny? will you keep me?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">him: they poo everywhere and they're tiny poo. i don't want to keep one.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">(true story)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">:S</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-31268966499652633292012-01-13T12:00:00.002-05:002012-01-13T12:47:32.331-05:00i am a star<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I've been feeling down lately because of relationship issues (as if it wasn't that obvious looking at my sappy blurbs) and work-related uncertainties. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My anxiety level has increased to more than usual. I dream about work the night before if only to have a nightmare about not giving medications on time. Oh the horror.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My saving grace as I called it the moment I saw it was a star pin given to me by a patient. He donated some money to the hospital on my behalf. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I wear my pins (2 in 4 years of service) to remind myself that I still make a difference. Who knew such a small thing can make me feel better. :)</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-28787777293551275802012-01-05T13:55:00.002-05:002012-01-05T14:14:20.196-05:00hello and goodbye<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">dear blog,</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">will i regret your existence eventually? am i foolish to keep a public <em>journal</em> of my life even if no one is really reading it? </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">dear life,</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">i realized that i don't like making lemonades out of the lemons that you give me. it's sour regardless of the countless sugar packets i pour. can i be given something different for a break? thanks.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">besides, it feels like i'm merely breaking down instead of being stronger. it is a character flaw i recognize too well. </span><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></em><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">i'm singing<em> - smile while your heart is aching.</em></span></span><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------</span></em><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">dear career,</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">where are you taking me? should i start to look for something different? the stress level you bring me on a daily basis is starting to wear me out. the regrets, worries and anger is constantly adding on. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">tell me it will be better.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">tell me i'm still making a difference.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">dear new year,</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">hello. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">i am looking forward to what you have in store for me. will i be travelling? will there be more laughter than tears? i certainly hope so.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">i am really not asking for too much. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">dear God,</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">please keep me strong in mind, body and spirit. may i be an example of what it is to be a christian person even if its only a fraction of Your definition in my thoughts, words and actions.</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-80855356968160925242011-12-18T23:24:00.002-05:002011-12-18T23:46:23.057-05:00what happens next<div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My mind is full of clutter - thoughts of anger, sadness and confusion.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I have no idea what to do that every time I think about it, my chest begins to tighten. </span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I'm conflicted.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Stay and be happy with whatever happens. Risky. Stupid. Bliss.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Leave and be strong. Safe. Smart. Heartbreak.</span></div>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-28147519841302440352011-11-15T11:12:00.002-05:002011-11-15T11:18:57.226-05:00say a little prayer<div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I pray for strength. </span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">To know when to hold on and when to let go.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I pray for clarity.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">To understand things as a whole and not just parts.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I pray for guidance.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">To know what is is right and what to do.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">But most of all, I pray for peace of mind.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I feel heavy. I have that sinking feeling something is wrong. Something is yet again out of place. I can't talk about it too much with anyone because everything I will do and have done is and was my decision.</span> </div>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-18572386044439665922011-11-02T11:04:00.003-04:002011-11-02T11:22:01.241-04:00it's seasonal<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">It was a strange dream. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My family and I were leaving. All our bags, including sleeping bags, were packed and stacked inside the jeepney. We hugged my aunts, uncles (including one who already passed away*) and relatives while saying our goodbyes. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">The whole street was lined with our neighbors and family as we waved our hands. I had that heavy feeling knowing I won't see them for a long time. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">There were people in my dream who I haven't seen for years. Some who I don't even know why they were in my dream in the first place. :S</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><em><span style="font-size:78%;">* To my uncle - I still miss you. It was nice to see you if only for a little bit. This is not the first time I said goodbye to you in a dream and I have a feeling it won't be the last. Your laugh and your good nature will be with us forever.</span></em> </span></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">If no one reads <em>me</em> do I still matter?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I'll find out in a few years from now when I look back at how my life was. :)</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">------------------------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My patience for anything and anyone that irks me is getting exceptionally short. I feel like work has taken a lot out of me (more so recently) and without those little breaks wherein I get to vent or laugh, I will eventually blow at someone. Burst for their rudeness, demands and ungrateful ways. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">One more implied comment about how their taxes pay for me and I will just have to say, "<em>don't you think I pay enough taxes to not be treated like shit</em>?".</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Sigh.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">---------------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">It's November.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Hello Christmas decorations.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Hello winter.</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-52840788489801708032011-10-21T04:03:00.003-04:002011-10-21T04:07:06.581-04:00Guilty conscienceI have said something wrong.<br /><br />I know this because I woke up at four in the morning, all of a sudden, thinking about it.<br /><br />Funny how the mind works.<br /><br />For what's it worth, I am sorry.blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-5410188286601043422011-10-17T20:41:00.003-04:002011-10-17T21:12:31.351-04:00question and answer portion<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">The many questions that I am faced every single social gathering:</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- When is your time?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- Did you guys talk about getting married yet?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- Did you tell him that you want to get married soon?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- So... when will we get our invitation to your event?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- When do I get to buy the dress to wear at your wedding?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Sigh. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">This coming week, I will be faced with these same questions. My only weapons are my I'm-as-clueless-as-you-smile, let's-change-the-topic-maneuver and awkward-face-until-everyone-is-uncomfortable-look. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Wish me luck?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Erm.</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-34782745248918793972011-10-12T10:07:00.002-04:002011-10-12T10:22:58.496-04:00no more drama<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">When it rains, it pours.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I'm quite annoyed at the turn of events. Apparently it's not just marriages that Facebook can ruin, even family relationships.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I hate it when people decide to air their dirty laundry. Why not pick a few choice friends or family to divulge every minute detail of your life through a phone call or even better personally rather than post and then tag everyone to see? Then wonder where the gossip comes from? Well, duh. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Ugh.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-----------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Aside from that stressful turn of events, I came to work and found an envelope from the attorney general. I guess I might be called to court for something I don't remember. Great. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Is it time to move on and actually think about doing something else? </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">A manager recently approched me and casually asked what if I have any plans. I was dumbfounded enough to not have a decent response. She questioned my lack of interest to pursue a Master's degree which will open up more possibilities. Apparently I manage the floor quite well while being calm under pressure. Interesting. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">She gave me until next week to let her know what the future looks for me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Erm. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Unmotivated is what I am.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My enthusiasm even went a notch lower after that letter. Sigh. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">End of woe-is-me post.</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-58258924644286026112011-09-28T23:59:00.003-04:002011-09-29T00:07:13.407-04:00boo hoo<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I need to change.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Things definitely need to change.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">If only I can snap my fingers and actually feel the way I want to feel and act the way I need to act. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">If only it was that easy. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Until then, hello self-pity party with one person on the guest list, let me sing myself to sleep - </span><em><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.</span> </em>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-28879636563328117332011-09-19T10:37:00.002-04:002011-09-19T11:11:20.207-04:00who, what, where<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I've been lazy and boring to say the least. Not bored mind you, boring. Erm.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Work is work. At the desk - smile and problem solve. At the bedside - smile and run around. It's not the same anymore. Moments wherein I feel I am genuinely a nurse and not someones maid seems far in between. I am a drama queen. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Home is home. My days off were spent lounging in my pjs with a bottomless tea cup and random snacks - a true couch potato (yes, I googled how to spell that). And of course, remote on one hand and the laptop on another. I'm cool like that. Or not. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Aside from that, I'm at J's nagging at how much of a guy's place it is. If I were a maid, I would have made so much money. We made a bet, I will pay $100 if I come and the place is reasonably clean and he will pay if it's dirty according to my low(ered) standards. So far, one win for me. Sigh.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Are we caught up yet?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Same old, same old.</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-47834608985440624142011-08-11T14:09:00.002-04:002011-08-11T14:15:58.745-04:00bizzaro world<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I had a dream that a bunny was stepping on my foot and that I couldn't get out no matter what.</span>
<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span>
<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">It was weird.</span>
<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span>
<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Did I mention I was also chasing after a green pig*?</span>
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span>
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">---------------------</span>
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span>
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Remind me that when it's my time to get married, I will try not to leave a lot of things at the last minute. </span>
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span>
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sigh.</span>
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span>
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">----------------------</span>
<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span>
<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;">* the pig actually resembles a stuff toy from childhood</span>
<br />blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-64282629493866378652011-08-05T18:52:00.002-04:002011-08-05T18:56:25.852-04:00letter#1<div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Dear blog,</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I haven't abandoned you yet.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Love,</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">me</span></div>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-85430428018690125472011-07-08T01:33:00.004-04:002011-07-08T07:21:35.518-04:00a month already?<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">A friend from back home messaged me asking for some monetary help for some problem I didn't want to question too much. I asked for a general answer and didn't bother to know the details. I agreed to help with some reservations because there are times even I have to say no to family. Almost everyday there was a message waiting for me when I can send it and that it is needed right away. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">It's been almost 3 days since I sent it without so much as an acknowledgement it was received. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I don't want a "I-owe-you-a-lot" response, but rather know that my money went somewhere it was suppose to be. Is that too much to ask?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">----------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">* a guy with a black folder approached me *</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Guy: Hi there. Where are you going?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Me: On my way home.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Guy: Would you like to be a superhero today?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Me: I already work in a hospital.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">* I recognized the binder from a few young people scattered around the area asking for money for a charity. I do support a few charities every now and then but there are times that I know I can say no without guilt. Not all help is measured by how much money I give. *</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">---------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I want to fly like the guys who jumped out of the helicopters. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I want a car like Bumblebee that would play me songs that fits my mood and the situation. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I want to have a friend like Optimus Prime that will never let me down.</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-26821637409709952512011-06-07T19:06:00.004-04:002011-06-07T19:11:10.580-04:00sigh<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrY_OWRopttztQWSEhsx-xTSgrqFNmT2j5vmKRr-deBpvlApJCAiVVi7b4Na91fbwvLRagoEWLH_MwpmnA4463-feWoNptfecCSaQDudGMCf0-hdjBGcSvNHqul1bW2RmYAaBlJttlUg_f/s1600/hoodie.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 145px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615618615724054370" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrY_OWRopttztQWSEhsx-xTSgrqFNmT2j5vmKRr-deBpvlApJCAiVVi7b4Na91fbwvLRagoEWLH_MwpmnA4463-feWoNptfecCSaQDudGMCf0-hdjBGcSvNHqul1bW2RmYAaBlJttlUg_f/s400/hoodie.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;"> taken from: </span><a href="http://www.asofterworld.com/"><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;">http://www.asofterworld.com/</span></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhct92_q7xEKaR_3C3XK4oClh0XprR76x8LJfjC1p1WfNA9mOes2F5XeCNLYaoNUkHnSbCrCmqoiuV06BjBH8T-4Qho6dI75dUESHYMvhxBQ7TOvhZ5SNCnSvHmpuUhqZB4w8VI36ySOUc3/s1600/hoodie.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;">post-vacation blues.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;">lost for words. </span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;">nothing big but annoying nonetheless.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;">sigh.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;">must. enjoy. the. sunshine.</span></div><br /></div>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-70782131570953477662011-05-26T00:50:00.002-04:002011-05-26T01:02:28.125-04:00i need an intervention<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I went shopping. Again. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Sigh.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My bank statement is filled with random purchases and is definitely on its all time high this month. I was only suppose to buy a dress for a wedding and I came out of the mall with a dress and two spring/fall jackets. Wt. I am contemplating on returning one of them but knowing how lazy I can be, might mean I'll have to just wear it until I use it for what its worth. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I have been staying at J's place to <em>play house</em>. It just means I pretend it's my place and clean and cook as if I live there by myself. For the two days I stayed, J was at work for 10 hours and home for 30 minutes to eat then leave for another 4 hours for school. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I cooked/experimented in the kitchen and much to my dismay, I only liked two out of four. J insisted it was all good and I say he's just afraid that I will never cook again if he criticized it (which of course may be true). :S He said I should try to cook sinigang and adobo next - I say don't hold his breath. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Weirdly enough, I find touching raw meat a little iffy. I would go with baking but measuring everything is a little tedious. Even looking for the ingredients was tiresome. I think I am not made for cooking. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Until that becomes more apparent, I am looking forward to the next dish on the list :)</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-72409300132028462442011-05-21T05:30:00.003-04:002011-05-21T05:54:31.746-04:00early morning babble<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">the aftermath of night <em>shifting</em> is insomnia. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">insomnia serves me well when i have to work nights because i can last the twelve hour shift without some sort of nap/break. unfortunately, it carries over for a few days which will leave me sleeping for three hours, if i'm lucky, before a 12 hour day shift. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">sigh. the life of a nurse.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">----------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">weirdly enough, sleeping around 1 and waking up at 3 in the morning can be productive - which may be a relative and loose term. erm.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- i finally caught up on watching two episodes of antm. morocco, you're officially on the list of places i would like to visit.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- two loads of laundry</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- i can finally walk around the room with my eyes closed. the chances of falling flat on my face because of a shopping bag is less likely to happen now. it just shows how much i've been out of control. eek.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- conversation about one particular ER case my friend had to deal with. i am still speechless and horrified. wt.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-----------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">shopping list want:</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- perfume: i rarely wear one yet i want to buy this particular one i tried yesterday</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- bag: the softest leather bag. why are you so expensive?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- rain boots: i "need" one.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- more tea: i have decided that my tim hortons affair must end and from now on will bring my own loose leaf tea to brew at work :)</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-17988443398560041402011-05-16T14:20:00.002-04:002011-05-16T14:39:18.757-04:00i feel old<span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>Friday:</strong> I left work in the middle of my 12 hour shift, at 1 am because of the pain on my left hip. Thankfully, we had an extra nurse who took over my patients. I couldn't really go home because I lost my keys and left my cellphone at J's car which only left me with one other option. I ended up taking a taxi to J's place since I have keys to his place that cost me $60. Erm. </span></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>Saturday:</strong> I called in sick knowing that I would be useless if I come with a limp. I slathered ointment on me every few hours to alleviate the pain with a dose of Advil for comfort. J was my slave for the day too for sleeping instead of picking me up. He said it was the most expensive sleep he's ever had. :S</span></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>Sunday:</strong> I still felt pain but since I have a student who needed to start, I convinced myself it would be okay. I think I restrained my hip - if that is possible because it's not as bad anymore. Who knew lifting heavy people has its benefits? :S </span></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">---------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">It seems like I've been shopping almost every week. Erm. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My credit card bills are starting to scare me especially after booking our trip to Disney. I rarely carry any debt montly because I have a strict policy on only buying things I can afford. Hopefully it doesn't mean that I would have to take money out of my savings account. :(</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">I'm excited for our vacation though. It would be nice to feel like a kid again - minus the fact that my credit card will definitely be abused during those days.</span> </span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-4860323970623281862011-05-11T22:53:00.000-04:002011-05-13T16:45:30.691-04:00meet my new friend<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I can be spontaneous - sometimes.<br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605658677627190306" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAwLc39HvDmRtNw4-f1XHo7mAooHOlKAWgdHf4Q2CdWgCESbMLqqJxptnt282pZDurF32-Erb5U_jTvAIYHapvzn_NWZtFBi0YCAjI4ITjy28vqpKCOomxQyRNVi-sMH6ehSySQVg1xpLY/s200/octomat1-460x460.jpg" /><br /></span><br /><div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I can be impulsive - almost all the time.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I was so excited, we used up the film within 3 hours. </span><br /></div></span><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I then couldn't wait to see the result that I went to the nearest mall to have my film developed only to come home disappointed. What do you mean you send it somewhere else?? What do you mean you don't have an hour to develop service anymore? Sigh. This only makes me want to buy a polaroid camera next. </span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">The ever growing list. :)</span></div></div>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-1294793681408148362011-05-10T14:35:00.002-04:002011-05-10T14:45:05.986-04:00and then a zombie was born<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">It's been months since I've done two weeks of night shift. Since my coworker doesn't need to be on permanent nights starting this week, we won't be switching shifts anymore.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Sigh.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">It was good while it lasted.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I wasn't able to sleep during my break except for the 15 minutes I put my head down just to rest my eyes. Unfortunately, my mind and body would only allow me to sleep after I get home for 3 consecutive hours and then it becomes sleep-for-10-wake-up-sleep-for-10 cycle which can be more tiring. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Such is the life of a nurse.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Oh, by the way, it's Nurses Week. :)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">-----------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">I booked our trip to Disney for June. There's finally something to look forward to again!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Did I mention it would be my third time to this magical world? :D</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">It's good to feel like a kid every now and then. The adult world can be frustrating and challenging as it is rewarding. </span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7831557051889724099.post-20720011649681749602011-05-06T10:46:00.003-04:002011-05-06T11:04:25.150-04:00may-oh-may<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Random generator:</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- Does spring really have to mean rainy days almost every day? The weather forecast seems to be: rain-cloudy-sunshine-rain-rain etc. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- I was designated as the coordinator for a co-worker's bridal shower/dinner. Since the dollar store was more of an effort to find in downtown, I opted to go to an adult store for a fake bridal veil. It was interesting for a lack of a better word. :S</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- It seems like I'm experiencing randomly localized sharp pain on my head more often than usual. It doesn't help that I work on a neuro unit which leads me to become more paranoid for what the possibilities could be.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">- I have a student to follow me around for three months again. This means that I have to think twice before I give away shifts or ask for vacation. The good thing is that I cannot be in-charge for a while.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">The cherry blossoms will be out this weekend! I hope it doesn't rain. :(</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">-------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">I had a dream that the scale said I'm 120 lbs. :D</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">In reality, a skirt I bought last year does not fit me anymore. Hmp. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Pro: possibly gaining weight</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Con: buying new clothes</span>blueskieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14669152266136683960noreply@blogger.com0