i am a star

I've been feeling down lately because of relationship issues (as if it wasn't that obvious looking at my sappy blurbs) and work-related uncertainties.

My anxiety level has increased to more than usual. I dream about work the night before if only to have a nightmare about not giving medications on time. Oh the horror.

My saving grace as I called it the moment I saw it was a star pin given to me by a patient. He donated some money to the hospital on my behalf.

I wear my pins (2 in 4 years of service) to remind myself that I still make a difference. Who knew such a small thing can make me feel better. :)

hello and goodbye

dear blog,

will i regret your existence eventually? am i foolish to keep a public journal of my life even if no one is really reading it?
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dear life,

i realized that i don't like making lemonades out of the lemons that you give me. it's sour regardless of the countless sugar packets i pour. can i be given something different for a break? thanks.

besides, it feels like i'm merely breaking down instead of being stronger. it is a character flaw i recognize too well.

i'm singing - smile while your heart is aching.
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dear career,

where are you taking me? should i start to look for something different? the stress level you bring me on a daily basis is starting to wear me out. the regrets, worries and anger is constantly adding on.

tell me it will be better.

tell me i'm still making a difference.
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dear new year,

hello.

i am looking forward to what you have in store for me. will i be travelling? will there be more laughter than tears? i certainly hope so.

i am really not asking for too much.
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dear God,

please keep me strong in mind, body and spirit. may i be an example of what it is to be a christian person even if its only a fraction of Your definition in my thoughts, words and actions.