Wednesday, April 16, 2008

small things

Two days of silent treatment has left me speechless too. I tried to explain but without any reaction, how am I suppose to know what to think of? I am teetering between indifference and bursting into a dramatic speech about the situation. Sigh.

Stress at work is taking its toll. It hasn't been easy to dodge confused patients who want to hit you or those that demand your undivided attention when there's 5 more waiting to be seen and heard. A colleague has been joking that she can see that I'm on the verge of becoming a part-time nurse and sometimes the possibility of it excites me. If only bills will pay itself.

I am enjoying the sunshine as I get off night shift. It lifts my spirits up knowing that it will be sunny. There is some comfort that it won't be another gloomy day just like how I generally feel.

Next week is my birthday.
Next week I am celebrating it with my brother and sister on a different country surrounded by palm trees, sand and under a blazing hot sun.
Next week, I will leave all the stress and rejuvenate my aching body, unfocused mind and shake away the sadness that surrounds me when I'm alone.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

day 2

After an exhausting weekend filled with chimes of the call bell and limited washroom breaks, I am wide awake at 3 am on day two of my day off. I woke up in the middle of taking a picture of someone (I don't recall who exactly) and the buzzing of my phone on vibrate. It registered as private. There are only two possibilities, my boyfriend and the hospital. I waited for voicemail to kick-in and listened to the message after. Creepy as it may sound, I only heard a series of beeps. Thanks to my untimely imaginative brain cells, I think of One Missed Call. Sigh.

I lay in bed for almost an hour trying to ease the million possibilities of who/what would call me at an hour like that. The same hour Amytiville Horror turned everything upside down. Sigh. I should stop watching scary movies.

Ironic, but TV is the only consolation. I gulped the last cup of Japanese green tea I'll have this week, until my mom goes back to the Asian market, while flipping chanels. An ad with men of varying age with trophy girlfriend/wife in hand vouching for pills that can enhance their ahem. With a smile on their face, they proudly advertise the fact that it is bigger thanks to these magical pills. Yeah, okay. Fortunately, there's a re-run of Veronica Mars to save me from boredom. After every commercial break I wonder why they would cancel such a show and let umm Joey play for almost a season. Sigh.

Two hours passed and I am stressed and tired but still unable to sleep. Three long days has taken a bite out of my composed nurse-self and I am aching for a break. I don't want to think about OR sheets, pain medication, bed baths and I surely don't want to hear call bells.

If that is too much to ask, all I'm gonna ask for is to be able to sleep soundly and without dreaming of work.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

girly girl

I just spent the day doing what I do best on the days I'm off, busy myself with anything. Today was spent learning how to apply eye shadow. Yes, I know very ummm *can't find the right word*. Err. The only staple I use every day are mascara, eye liner and lip gloss. Those come in handy when I didn't get enough sleep and have to wake up my eyes. :D

I went to Sephora, candy store for make-up junkies and I ended up leaving in no time to opt for the Disney store instead. Hahaha. So I've decided, it wouldn't hurt to try to update my look by actually having some sort of well, look. Sigh. Even writing about make-up, it seems like I don`t know what I`m saying. Haha.

Now I`ll just have to somehow convince myself that it`s not a complete waste of money. Eek.