Tuesday, February 26, 2008

snow white

There's a snow storm today.
Did I also mention it's my day off?
The weather did not plan to have it on the day I needed to have some fun time.
On the other hand, my day off did not depend on how the weather will turn out.
So really, no one's fault why I'm stuck at home.

I don't even make sense.

The groundhog promised spring and this is what we get.
More snow.
More clean-up.
More government money for the plows to work overnight.
Isn't $20 million enough?
Probably not.

Oh, it's tax time.
I wonder if I'll end up paying more tax than what was already deducted on my wages.
I don't even look at my pay stub.
Ignorance is bliss.
Someone told me nursing is thankless job.
People take us for granted and it is acceptable.
If that's not depressing, I don't know what is.

Yes, there is a snow storm today.
If you've ever seen the commercial about people crying because of winter blues, you'll understand.

Friday, February 22, 2008


I'm not sure what it is but I have been very moody. Again.

I'm annoyed at things that I may have found amusing at one point. I pick fights for no reason. I even have this constant urge to hang up the phone just because.

And then I catch myself thinking, what am I doing? But of course, it's too late and my pride can't help but be stubborn. Unfortunately, the only thing that jolts me back to reality is when guilt starts to sink in. It's a cycle that I am fully aware of but can't seem to control.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be healthier if I just forgo one day without any communication. It's not his fault. I just want to save his sanity from figuring out why I am upset or mad. It may eventually shed some light to my silliness and when it does, I can finally stop taking him for granted.

About an hour ago, this is what I did. We were talking for about 30 minutes when he decided he'd like to take a nap. As soon as he said it, I said bye and covered the mouth piece of the phone. He was saying my name but I just didn't feel like responding anymore. And I don't even know what was upsetting about it because I knew we would talk later anyway. Sigh.

It scares me that one of these days he'll stop calling back every time I do that and it will be my fault. Sigh.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


I was going to write about ...

... how the snow storm covered everything and how the only way to describe it was "winter wonderland".
... the fact that two days of working with demanding patients can force me to take a day off even if it means one less day of vacation.
... Valentine's day and our one year anniversary.
... how one of my favourite songs played at the perfect moment.
... being a food server for one night felt.
... how I love slow dances.

... having no time to write anything at all.