Saturday, April 21, 2007

la di da

One more week and I'm off to Philippines. My friends told me that they are trying to rent a private resort for us to spend a night in while my aunt is arranging a trip to the beach for a day or two. I'm extremely excited and somewhat apprehensive. I don't know how to swim and I'm scared of the sun. Hahaha.

I haven't really prepared anything. No clothes or any pasalubong yet in the luggage. Who knew that my procrastinating habit will extend to this? I thought it was only when it was about school. Sigh.


I'll be 23 on the 23rd. :D

I'll probably have a separate and a more special entry for that day. But it seems like celebrating it is more complicated. What day will be better for everyone? Do I need to cook? ( that's a joke) What church am I going to? (a long debate between me and him) Who am I inviting? (so far, four people...errr)


I have been offered a job. Yey! Another thing that I'm excited and scared of. If everything works out, I'll have the responsibility an RN will have. Lives will somewhat depend on my competency and that is enough to make my heart beat a little bit faster than the normal rate.

Saturday, April 14, 2007


Maybe I'm asking too much. The way I expect things to work the way I want it to. Small things upset me. Nothing makes it better except time and sometimes a bit of inner conversation with me and myself. Inside my head, it's like listening to two girls talk endlessly about each other's side. The decisions sometimes end up as a game of which one is easier. Easier to agree to. Easier to live with. As simple as that.

I get a headache just trying to figure these things that I made complicated. It is by choice that they are like this.

Sometimes I wish for something but as soon as I get it, the feeling subsides and I want to push it away. It's because it wasn't the same when I wanted it. I hate this feeling.

There is nothing I can do but let it pass and wish that I didn't damage anything in the process.

I am fully aware that I am difficult to talk to once I get upset. Silence envelopes me and I just let it.

I'm being dramatic. I'm being emotional. I'm being me.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


This morning, I received a call from the HR department of the hospital I was placed this year. I have an interview two days before I leave. Ack. The confusing part is that everyone said I was already hired. I have an orientation date before interview? Errr. The nurses even laughed at me when I said that I wasn't sure I was hired when they asked me. Sigh. So now, I'm back to basically not knowing if I have a job after I graduate. That is a sad place to be. Yes, nurses are in demand and we have a government initiative working for us to be hired but still. I need a job as soon as possible. Anyway, wish me luck! :D


Last night, my friends and I attended a ceremony and was presented a Merit award by the city's fire department. It was for helping with the suicide attempt at the mall last year. We didn't really think of it after a while because it was kind of surreal and disturbing. Then, last month they contacted us and invited us to this event. We thought it was one of those come in, get a certificate, eat some cookies and leave. It was actually more than that. We were part of a ceremony that honored civilians and firemen. My friends and I felt out of place because almost everyone was clad in jackets with the department's patch. We joked that maybe we should have worn our scrubs.

I even felt a bit emotional when the announcer talked about the incident before giving us the award. It just reminded me of that girl and the circumstance she was in to think of taking her life.

Anyway, it was a great night.

Why I need to gain weight
Reason #34: Size 00 in adult section does not fit me well. :$

Saturday, April 7, 2007

he said, I said

* We've been playing this game for a while now - a joke about how both of us is really going out with another person. I keep telling him that one of these days, it might just come true and that instead of a joke, it might very well be a confession taken lightly. Errr.

* Last time we had a conversation that started with a random question about what we don't like about each other. I told him a couple of things and when it was his time, he said there is nothing he didn't like about me. Of course that is a blatant lie that anyone in their right mind will not fall for. After much coaxing he said that he didn't like the fact that I'm stubborn. Apparently, I do the exact opposite of what he wants. It's not really completely true. If I want to cut my hair, I would even if he says the last one was "horrible". I will probably still wear what I want unless I'm the one who's uncomfortable. And I would probably still go where I want even if he asks "
do you really have to?". I don't think that's being stubborn. Hmp.

* He wants me to meet his parents next week. I'm really not that excited considering my lack of social skills prevents me from being a good conversationalist. I get easily uncomfortable at the sound of silence accompanied by rolling tumbleweeds and a gust of wind. Another reason is the fact that they might not approve of me being his girlfriend while there are so many other things happening. And another reason I'm not too keen on is the fact that I look too sickly. I need at least a month to recover from night shifts, weight loss and general fatigue. I joked that falling asleep in their church might not be the best first impression.


I finally finished my clinical hours and after two more papers, I am free of school (I hope). Unless I decide otherwise of course.

The nurses on my unit threw a mini party complete with pizza,
pancit and cake. I'm still not sure if I got the position but it would be great if I end up working with the same nurses. As they say, even if the unit is heavy work it doesn't matter. It's more important to be working with a group of people who will help you when needed and are supportive.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

my alter ego

Apparently, one of my email accounts was used to sign up for a MySpace account. How fun!

Curiousity got the best of me and I didn't waste any time to sign in and approve Chamillionaire's request to be my friend. *rolls eyes* Did I mention that whoever used my email to sign up even chose a password that I may have used in the past? Am I that predictable or it's just a popular password? (no, it's not "password", silly)

After a few seconds, I found out that I'm an 18 year old girl who lives in Florida who loves a boy named Robbie. sweet. But that's not all, this is how I talk:


I would have hoped that anyone using my numerous email addresses would at least have a better grasp of the English language and some sort of knowledge about proper grammar and spelling but one can only hope.

I wonder if her name is Veronica. Afterall, I have responded to that name before (lack of sleep makes you not want to care what other nurses call you anyway).


This will be my new home from now on. April's a good time for a change.

What's in store for me this April, you might want to ask (or not). So here it is:
- last day in school
- last night in clinical because I'll be finishing my 384 hours this Thursday
- Buffalo trip to go shopping (window shopping)
- my birthday. I'm turning 23 on the 23rd :D
- I'm going back to Philippines after almost 9 years