Monday, May 31, 2010

fill in the blanks

Mental block.
I need something to do.
I want a new experience this summer that can place a check mark on my bucket list (that I didn't officially make yet).
J is planning to trade his car for an automatic family-friendly car.
He says he'll have his sports car back someday.
If I can afford to wear dresses every other day this summer, I would.
If it's appropriate to wear shorts and t-shirt everywhere I go, I would.
If it didn't feel like a freezer on some buses, I wouldn't get sick.
Breakfast potluck at work is a good way to start the day.
Unfortunately, it also makes me lazy.
Another good thing? It's a good bribe for the doctors to stay a little longer.
Mental block.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

better to write

To whom it may concern:

Please stop testing my patience. I am a very compassionate person - if I may say so, but you are pushing my buttons effortlessly and without regard. I do not mean to be rude and I'm certainly not ignoring you, I am merely doing what I need to do. So please, let's not repeat what happened last night.

Thank you,
your overworked nurse

There are days I just need to call in sick for a mental health day. It's emotionally tiring to see people suffer. It's almost as tiring to accomodate every little requests, needs and wants while I do the medical side of it.

Eight hours of work last nigh definitely felt longer. It was evident with my tiny paper full of scribbled notes.

Just another work day.

There is hope that I will get my vacation afterall. It just means I will have to work 3-4 days straight before and after my vacation.

Sacrifices. Sacrifices.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

mirror, mirror on the wall

J bought me a dress today to prove a point.

He wants to prove that he knows what looks good on me even if I don't think so. Initially, he pointed at body-hugging black dress but I refused to try it on. I argued that I do not have the (curvy) body to fill it out at the right places. This has been my plight because there are only a few stores where I can buy clothes I can confidently wear because they fit right or acceptable enough.


Where do skinny people buy their clothes?! And no, I am not willing to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Erm.

Self-esteem takes a beating sometimes.

Today will also mark the first time I actually went to an alteration place. The lady there might become my bestfriend if the two dresses I brought turn out okay.

I am having memory problems.
(1) I've been entering my card number online after memorizing it in a week then suddenly - mental block. I kept entering my cellphone number. Wth.
(2) I did laundry and forgot to put detergent in.
(3) I would immediately forget what my patient asked for after 5 minutes. Erm.

Is it stress???

I will find a way to get vacation this summer. Even if it means I have to beg and cry to get it. Yes, I am desperate.

Monday, May 10, 2010

toink, toink


I feel strange.

Writing it twice like that, it almost makes me doubt my spelling.

Again, I say strange.

Dear J,

How long are you going to make me wait?

Your impatient girlfriend

My arms are sore. My back is aching. I last worked on Thursday, so what's the problem?! *unintentional rhyming* All I know is I'll be finishing a tube of Rub-A535 tonight.

The funny thing is my parents think I'm a weakling. They asked if I could carry their TV out of their room for a replacement but wanted to do it with them. I said it's better if I just do it myself as it will be harder. The TV is only a fraction of what I carry at work. Erm.

Our family doctor is retiring and we are doctorless. We have a few prospects but the one they chose is not a bus away. At least, not something I'd consider to be that accessible as it would take me longer than 30 minutes. Erm.

As much as I hate visiting the doctor, I need to soon enough. I think my physical check-up has been way overdue. Sigh.

My head is clouded with nonsense.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

it's may already!

Today, I received a thank you card.

In between back-ache-inducing work, snotty remarks and frustrations, I felt a sense of accomplishment. Once again, I felt that I do make a difference.

Even more satisfying is the fact that this particular patient is also a nurse.

I finally received my tax rebate. It means I can pay off some debt and maybe return some of it in my savings account that seems to be only increasing as fast as a snail's pace.

I also managed to force myself to shop for basic t-shirts and tanks, picking up sure-that-looks-good as I passed by the aisle. I can't seem to find anything I love and if I did, I talked myself out of it for fear of overspending unnecessarily. On the other hand, I bought J a leather jacket. :S For some reason, I hate it when he goes to a store, looks at a particular thing for a long time then proceed to say, "maybe next time".


That can't be right.