Friday, September 26, 2008

24 hours is not enough

How to spend 24 hours:

- wake up at 0530 to get ready for work
- start work at 0730
- leave work at 0030
- get home at 0145
- sleep by 0200
- still sleeping at 0530

I worked for 17 hours and that will be the last time I accept a four hour overtime (which ended up being five because of complications). My whole body was aching three hours before my shift ended and I literally felt like collapsing. :S

To make matters worst, I missed the streetcar for 3 seconds and ended up walking for about 20 minutes. And yes, walking for that long while its dark outside, somewhat breezy and after 17 hours of work did not make it any better. Then close to the station, two drunk guys asked me a stupid question and because of the music blasting from my headphones, I didn't hear the rest of the stupid things they shouted after I walked away. Ugh, so stupid.

And it doesn't end there. I missed the connecting bus I had to take to get home by five minutes. I had to wait 30 minutes for the next one to arrive. Sigh. Then, a tourist from Czekoslovakia who was on his way to the airport sat beside me and asked me a few things. He was very pleasant to talk to and kept apologizing for not being able to effectively converse in English.

I'm just quite surprised that something so simple as the happiness of this stranger can rub on to me and actually make my day better. :D Makes me want to sing a song now.

And no, I don't have short attention span. :S

Sunday, September 14, 2008

one of those days

Something was wrong with me today but I can't seem to figure it out.

He was sitting at the couch engrossed at the documentary about terrorism and completely unaware of what was going through my head. Afterall, he's not a psychic. I've been told a dozen times.

I felt like a kid asking for attention.

I kissed him on his cheeks numerous times hoping for some sort of sweet gesture but nothing happens until he realized I completely moved away. A return kiss followed and a request for a hand massage. I'm used to it.

My mom and dad called us to eat dinner but he said he's too shy so I declined and told them we already ate. Meanwhile, at his house I have no choice but to follow. But that's not his fault, I am polite. He dozed off for a few minutes and then suddenly got up to let me know it's time to leave.

I scrambled for something to tell him just to make him stay a little longer. But nothing. I could have told him about the dream I had last night. We were at the carnival but I needed to go home to get something. He said, I'll meet you here in a few hours. I walked away and then realized I had his phone. How do I find him later? That was my last thought.

He bid my parents goodbye before giving me a hug and a kiss. My mom eagerly invited him for a little get together tomorrow and he said "maybe". I almost laughed. I have never turned down an invitation from his mom and never missed a family get together unless I am working.

Whatever it is that felt wrong today is compounded by this. I am sad about something and mad about everything.

It may be a silly thing to be upset about but if you know me, I'm sure you'll understand.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

another letter

Dear Mr/Ms/Mrs. X,

This letter is just to let you know I am only one person and if you could get that in your head, maybe things will be better.

If you call me useless in front of my face and in front of your family, it doesn't make me want to serve you any better. I am not your personal maid. No, I don't just stand there while you choke as you told them. If I didn't care, don't you think I would have walked away instead of watching you gasp for air? I'm sorry to say but that doesn't make any sense.

When you tell them I don't do anything, did you see me run up and down the hall to make sure the doctors and other nurses looking after you have everything they need. Did you hear how many people I had to call and talk to just to follow up what needs to be done?

And although I never complained about it, I didn't eat breakfast and I only ate my lunch for 15 minutes just to make sure you are okay. You are not the only person I needed to look after but I explained to the rest of them that I am busy with an emergency. Some gave me a hard time but hey, priority is priority.

So the next time you call me useless, make sure you know what you are saying. You can request not to have me as your nurse and I won't protest. Everyone knows I did my best. And just to let you know, I only smile out of politeness. I can only restrain myself so much before it affects my work.

I don't know how it feels to be in your position as you don't know how it feels to be in mine. All I'm asking is for you to be understanding as I have been.