Monday, October 20, 2008

i don't know either

Why is it so difficult to find strawberries that are just perfect?

What would you say to a patient who all of a sudden remarks, "now there's nothing sexy about this", while you perform a procedure?

Why do I bother watching Filipino series only to change channels midway a conversation to prevent myself from throwing a remote control at their silly plots and eye-rolling antics?

Is there an easier way to learn Korean?

Why are oversized sweaters of other people comfier that my own?

Can I actually bring myself to work more than 80 hours in two weeks?

How much can a turtle eat in one day?

Is it weird that I start humming when I'm upset?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

don't worry, be happy

Since I don't like too much drama *cough cough*, I will write about good things (at least for now).

- It's been close to three weeks now since my tita arrived from Philippines as a tourist. We've taken her to key tourist spots and she's exhausted. Unfortunately, we're very eager to show her everything and anything we find relevant to how we live in Canada. My sister and I have decided that she will have to try different kinds of food from different countries. Afterall, our city is very diverse. First stop was Indian food. Sadly, spices didn't go very well with her sensitive tongue and stomach. :S But tomorrow is another day and it will be Korean/Japanese cuisine. There's still Greek, Italian, Thai and Vietnamese food to try and we're very excited. Wish us luck!!

- After being sick for three days, I went to work for a night shift that was spent sneezing, coughing and wearing a mask. You can only imagine how I felt dragging myself from one room to another trying to appear as healthy as I'm supposed to be. At 1130 pm, I went and said hi to a patient. The first thing she said to me that was enough to boost my ego and convince myself that I didn't look as sickly was "Wow you're beautiful". Whether she is drowsy/sleepy/medicated did not matter. Hahaha. I'll take a compliment when I can. :P

- As far as my previous drama is concerned, everything is well. ;)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

another blurb of a day

In light of the little things that has happened over the past few days/weeks (I've lost track), I/we have decided to think about ourselves. We, as a couple, do not exist. I will equate we, to make it easier to explain, to married couples or those who are happily together. There was no break-up but there was no guarantee that there won't be one either.

I guess it helps that I'm working nights tomorrow.

I won't be holding on to my phone hoping it will vibrate.

Instead, I will be giving out medications, answering call bells and jotting down endless pre-approved lines on patient's chart. I will be on a different mind frame. As my co-worker says, going through the motions.

Calmness surrounds me at this moment. It's that same feeling you get after crying. You gradually stop and think to yourself, what the hell was that all about? At least that's how I am. I get over it, only to repeat the cycle when I am reminded of the details. He accidentally keeps pulling that trigger and I am at the receiving end.

Sigh. The drama that I surround myself in. The drama that I have complete control over of, yet would rather pass on the right to end it.

The same drama that's occupying my little sanctuary of a blog.

I should stop watching Filipino series. They're corrupting my head. :S

Monday, October 6, 2008

dark blue

I'm screaming but you can't hear me.
Or are you purposely ignoring what I'm saying?
My head hurts.
My eyes are swollen because of unnecessary crying.
It may be my fault.
Too much thinking, they say.
But I lost myself along the way.
Stress-free, laid back me.
I left her inside the hospital walls.
Still smiling at patients.
But I'm not just about work.
At least I didn't use to be.

I need a hug.
I want my hand to be held.
I crave for that feeling.

I'm still screaming, make me better.
Please listen.