breakdown

Today, I called work at about 2 in the morning to tell them I'm not coming to work and then set my alarm clock to 5 am to email my student that I'll see her on Friday instead. Sigh.

Yesterday was just so tiring. I ended up sleeping for an hour before my body/mind decided to wake up. Yes, I was up from midnight waiting for my alarm to set off to go to work. Luckily, it was a holiday which saved me from dealing with about 20 people behind the nursing station and furthermore, having an excellent student that can handle three of my patients with ease. I was dragging myself from one room to another in between hourly affirmation that the day will eventually end. Sure it didn't help that I had literally, the heaviest patient on the floor but there were plenty of hands to help when I needed it anyway.

By 9 I was in bed waiting for a call and by 9:30 I hanged up the phone and insisted that no other goodnite conversation is needed.

After measly two hours, I was awake much to my dismay. I took Gravol in hopes of knocking me out but nothing happened.

I feel guilty for calling-in-sick because I know we don't have enough staff but my body and mind is at breaking point. I am not about to make any mistake at work because I'm not feeling well. Better to loose a few hundreds in my pay than my license and someone else's well being.

I'm trying my best to break this insanity before it gets out of hand. Vitamins - check. Eating enough - check. No afternoon naps - trying. Exercise - desperately trying. No more shift work - impossible. Sigh.