There's something about tonight that's making me feel iffy. The sound of rain doesn't exactly help to alleviate the anxiety I'm experiencing at this moment. It's almost impossible to think of positive things and with the lights off, there's no distraction either.
In the heat of the moment, I looked at him only to find myself staring at someone who wasn't there. Unfortunately, I have no control over my emotions. I'm not even sure if I laughed or cried as soon as I noticed it but I do know that tears filled my eyes as soon as I absorbed what went on.
Tonight, I believe raising the white flag is appropriate. I give up. Maybe there is no point in controlling something or more appropriately someone when everything you do goes against their nature.
I then imagined how things could have been if things were different. It doesn't hurt to dream once in a while.
Out of frustration, I suggested we give each other a break. Maybe spending time only on weekends is sufficient and phone calls everyday are not necessary. I wonder how long it will last until one of us cracks.
I'm convinced it will be me.
I blame the rain.
A few more sob stories like this and I will delete this blog for containing to many evidence of how pathetic I make my life to be.
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