fill in the blanks

Mental block.

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I need something to do.

I want a new experience this summer that can place a check mark on my bucket list (that I didn't officially make yet).

J is planning to trade his car for an automatic family-friendly car.

He says he'll have his sports car back someday.

Sure.

If I can afford to wear dresses every other day this summer, I would.

If it's appropriate to wear shorts and t-shirt everywhere I go, I would.

If it didn't feel like a freezer on some buses, I wouldn't get sick.

Breakfast potluck at work is a good way to start the day.

Unfortunately, it also makes me lazy.

Another good thing? It's a good bribe for the doctors to stay a little longer.

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Mental block.

better to write

To whom it may concern:

Please stop testing my patience. I am a very compassionate person - if I may say so, but you are pushing my buttons effortlessly and without regard. I do not mean to be rude and I'm certainly not ignoring you, I am merely doing what I need to do. So please, let's not repeat what happened last night.

Thank you,
your overworked nurse
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There are days I just need to call in sick for a mental health day. It's emotionally tiring to see people suffer. It's almost as tiring to accomodate every little requests, needs and wants while I do the medical side of it.

Eight hours of work last nigh definitely felt longer. It was evident with my tiny paper full of scribbled notes.

Just another work day.
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There is hope that I will get my vacation afterall. It just means I will have to work 3-4 days straight before and after my vacation.

Sacrifices. Sacrifices.

mirror, mirror on the wall

J bought me a dress today to prove a point.

He wants to prove that he knows what looks good on me even if I don't think so. Initially, he pointed at body-hugging black dress but I refused to try it on. I argued that I do not have the (curvy) body to fill it out at the right places. This has been my plight because there are only a few stores where I can buy clothes I can confidently wear because they fit right or acceptable enough.

Sigh.

Where do skinny people buy their clothes?! And no, I am not willing to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Erm.

Self-esteem takes a beating sometimes.
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Today will also mark the first time I actually went to an alteration place. The lady there might become my bestfriend if the two dresses I brought turn out okay.
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I am having memory problems.
(1) I've been entering my card number online after memorizing it in a week then suddenly - mental block. I kept entering my cellphone number. Wth.
(2) I did laundry and forgot to put detergent in.
(3) I would immediately forget what my patient asked for after 5 minutes. Erm.

Is it stress???
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I will find a way to get vacation this summer. Even if it means I have to beg and cry to get it. Yes, I am desperate.

toink, toink

Strange.

I feel strange.

Writing it twice like that, it almost makes me doubt my spelling.

Again, I say strange.
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Dear J,

How long are you going to make me wait?

Love,
Your impatient girlfriend
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My arms are sore. My back is aching. I last worked on Thursday, so what's the problem?! *unintentional rhyming* All I know is I'll be finishing a tube of Rub-A535 tonight.

The funny thing is my parents think I'm a weakling. They asked if I could carry their TV out of their room for a replacement but wanted to do it with them. I said it's better if I just do it myself as it will be harder. The TV is only a fraction of what I carry at work. Erm.
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Our family doctor is retiring and we are doctorless. We have a few prospects but the one they chose is not a bus away. At least, not something I'd consider to be that accessible as it would take me longer than 30 minutes. Erm.

As much as I hate visiting the doctor, I need to soon enough. I think my physical check-up has been way overdue. Sigh.
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My head is clouded with nonsense.

it's may already!

Today, I received a thank you card.

In between back-ache-inducing work, snotty remarks and frustrations, I felt a sense of accomplishment. Once again, I felt that I do make a difference.

Even more satisfying is the fact that this particular patient is also a nurse.
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I finally received my tax rebate. It means I can pay off some debt and maybe return some of it in my savings account that seems to be only increasing as fast as a snail's pace.

I also managed to force myself to shop for basic t-shirts and tanks, picking up sure-that-looks-good as I passed by the aisle. I can't seem to find anything I love and if I did, I talked myself out of it for fear of overspending unnecessarily. On the other hand, I bought J a leather jacket. :S For some reason, I hate it when he goes to a store, looks at a particular thing for a long time then proceed to say, "maybe next time".

Sigh.

That can't be right.