fly away

Aside from the sudden craving for chocolates, I am currently singing:

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah, yeah, yeah

(Lenny Kravitz)

I don't know what it says about the state of my mind recently but I'm sure it's some sort of sign.

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After slowly peeling myself off work-mode and on to the comforts of a firm bed on our lounge for a break, my mind buzzed with negativities. I couldn't sleep yet again. Fortunately, Serendipity was showing and I am once again distracted. Why is it that we/I almost always root for couples to break up when they find another person by chance? I mean when it comes to real life, it isn't as romantic as it looks in TV. Well, save for the new couple that gets together that is. Erm. Then again, destiny is destiny and the world has better plans for everyone involved.

As the movie ended, so does my break. I groggily went back to work and told my coworker about not being able to sleep again and about the movie. She replied with, "I hate that movie. That girl is so flaky/flighty". It made me wonder how many of us can actually jump in the unknown without knowing what will happen tomorrow and leave it to chance or destiny?

My mind is in disarray.

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My birthday is slowly approaching and I have yet to make a list of what I would like to buy or get. Erm. My sister already gave me a gift because she said it's been sitting in her closet for a few weeks and "it's getting old". I have another Coach bag! Yey! I've been thinking of getting another bag and one has already caught my eye with a stern disapproval from my pocket. Aside from that, nothing seems to make it to "the list". Sigh.

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I am now going to hunt for chocolates.

w.t.h.

I had a wth moment today. I am trying to censor myself because saying wtf is making me even more irritated. I hate it. The phrase was circulating in my head over and over again taunting me. I had to hold myself back and think happy thoughts before I do something I will regret.

Why is it hard to trust people? I try to be nice and tada, some people think it's okay to do whatever. Well, WTH. I mean really...wth.

Next time, I won't bother to ask. Lesson learned if you ask me.
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Hello Spring, welcome back!

guilty as charged

Yesterday, I received a dozen pink roses and a bear holding a heart with an I love you scribbled in it. J was once again guilty of something. He showed up in my house without calling me first knowing that I would have told him he's not invited to my sister's birthday anymore if he did.

I am a sucker for sorry's and he is an expert in saying it. Sadly, it's a perfect combination if you ask me.

I still tell him that he does things out of guilt.
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Every now and then, we engage in "deep talks". We usually don't agree and we're both stubborn enough to insist we're right. Sometimes, I just like to say things to push his buttons because I want to know how his mind works.

So far, I can proudly say I have "won" one such debate and the rest are a draw.
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We have a wedding to attend to in a few months and I am already dreading the questions of when our turn will be. I really just wish J would lie and pretend he has a plan and say "maybe next year" instead of leaving me hanging to smile and laugh as if I didn't care.

I like plans even if disappointment usually follows. I like plans just for the sake of planning. I like planning to look forward to something.

I seriously want to tell him to just say he's not ready yet than play deaf at their questions.