denial

me: Aww, she's so cute.
him: Who?
me: Umm..she walked right in front of us, it's impossible you didn't see her. I like what she's wearing.
him: Oh, I didn't notice.
me: Can you not pretend you didn't see her so we can talk about what she was wearing?
him: Well...
me: I like her skirt.
him: If I said you should wear something like that, you'll get mad.
me: So now you admit you did see her.

I must admit, it is hard for him to win. :S

-----------------------------

Another shift, another sleepless night. Will I be happy if I quit and work somewhere else? Is it nursing itself that is burning me out or the work load that they keep throwing on my plate without taking something else?

If it weren't for the good days, I would be easily swayed.

----------------------------

I think I gained some weight. At least a few people have told me I look like I did.

That works for me :)

reminder

Instead of asking

Why do bad things happen to good people?

ask

Why do good things happen to bad people?

If you know the context, you would never ask the first question again. :)

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It was a good Sunday. A wake-up call and a gentle reminder that there is a reason for everything. It may not be clear but it is there. There is a grand plan.

--------------------------------

There are days when I can't let out my frustrations. It's either no one understands or they are going through the same thing. Sometimes, I just need a good cry. Forget the fact that there are nights that anxiety alone can upset my stomach, initiate palpitations and cause sleepless nights. It is what it is. I just have to suck it up and do what I have to do.

Today, I felt like crap. It didn't help that yesterday I was frustrated at J but more so myself that it carried over until I have to get up and get ready for work. Monday blues I suppose.

I really need a dose of sunshine.

roses are red

A month from now is our anniversary. I've been thinking about a gift because I'm sentimental/corny like that. So far, I've been on the fence whether I want to be romantic or practical. Should I get a lovey dovey kind of gift or something he likes like Lego. Choices, choices.

I went the latter route for my Christmas and birthday gift to him. It felt funny. It almost feels like we're old couples who would rather ask what each other wanted. He, on the other hand, decided to be romantic - in his own way. I gave him a DVD set of some series he's been talking about while the other one resulted from a trip to an electronic store for a pick-what-you-want-and-I'll-pay-for-it. Erm

When does it end? The sweet, corny phase of any relationship. Hmmm.

my heart beats for you

As I type this, I can feel my heart beat faster and harder.

Palpitations.

This is not new.

I can't seem to recall when it exactly started though.

It's quite tiring.

To be aware of every lub-dub beat.

I feel the need to inhale and exhale deeper.

I've been thinking about going to the doctor for a visit.

What do I say?

You see, I've been having palpitations.

I know what the next question would be.

Have you been under stress lately?

My reply - everyday I work.

But why does my heart beat like this even on my days off?

-----------------------------

I gave J a birthday card.

He left the last one at a restaurant.

I wrote something sweet and then I wondered, when will I get a reply?

I want a card too.

------------------------------

I want to be carefree again.

Even for one day.

One full day.

Hello new year

I don't have a New Year's Resolution.

It seems like nothing changed from the previous year anyway.

I've let go of the past.

Somewhat.

I look forward to the future.

Kind of.

It's hard when you don't have a 5-year-plan.

Erm.

----------------------

I decided to tie my hair like Chun-li at work.

I joked, I wanna be like her when I grow-up.

The real reason: I needed my hair to be curled for New Years.

-----------------------

I have one more holiday get-together to go to.

They say, wear upscale casual.

What's that?

Hmmm.

-----------------------

I don't know how to get my thoughts across anymore.

-----------------------

Happy New Year!