Thursday, December 9, 2010

private thoughts

Sometimes I look at him and still wonder why he did it. Then there are those moments when I completely detach him from the act and be absolutely convinced that it wasn't the same man who did it.

When this year ends, I plan to forget.

What is love afterall if not to take risks?

It may not be easy to cast aside my doubts, insecurities and pain but how long do I intend to hold on to them anyway. If the unthinkable happens again, shame on me.

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I saw a YouTube video of what a woman scorned by her cheating partner could do. I almost felt sorry for the mistress. Erm. If she didn't know he was attached, that would have been the worst way to find out. If she did in fact know, I wonder if she still think it was worth it. Eek.

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I am procrastinating once again.

Monday, November 29, 2010

breaking point

I reached my breaking point Friday night at work. Frustrated, cranky and hungry does not mix well together. I was beginning to feel sick from all the nonsense that I informed them I'm not coming back the next day. I got home at 10:30 half-frozen and convinced that I can't be a superwoman. I guess the upset stomach I had to endure the next day was the last straw to convince me that my decision was right.

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Family member: I would like to pay for a private nurse.

Me: Sure, but I would suggest hiring a personal aid worker instead of a nurse. I can provide you the number and you can ask about the cost you will have to pay.

FM: You won't pay for that?

Me: No. She does not need it in my opinion.

FM: The other patient in the room called for a nurse and it took 5 minutes for the nurse to come.

Me: *blank look*

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Did he just say 5 minutes?? I guess we are all suppose to be like Flash - right where you want in a blink of an eye. Who cares if we're in report to know whats going on? I guess it doesn't matter if we're with another patient because we are expected to be in two places.

Did someone call for Super(wo)man?

Wait, let me get my cape.

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Three group of friends translates to three different holiday get-together. Did I mention two groups out of the three are nurses which means there's at least one with a different shift?

Is it just me or does life generally revolve around work?

Eek.

Tomorrow, I will change my opinion and say life is about friends, family, love and experiences.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

pardon me

There it is again. I see a crack that gradually gets bigger and more noticeable. Ugh, it's annoying.

Is it me or is it him? I can't really tell. It seems like all signs are pointing in my direction but I'm sure I can convince any jury to conclude otherwise.

Sometimes I feel one of us is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whatever that means. It's like a game, no one wants to give up but with a little more patience, surely one will have to speak up eventually.

He denies it, but why do I still feel this way? If being needy was a skill, I may have perfected it. If being insensitive was a job, he could have been the boss.

How can we fix the problem when only one person believes it is a problem? Questions, questions.

La di da, nothing is wrong.

La di da, am I just predicting another tragedy?

La di da, just tell me if it's over.