As I listen to this Michelle Branch song, my state of mind changes into a particular mood reserved for a lazy Sunday afternoon or a rainy day spent lying in bed. I automatically link it to a time that generated a feeling of discontent about the various aspects of my life. In other words, for me it's a thinking song.
A friend of mine asked me if I was happy. I am a reluctant optimist. I always hope for the best and try to see the good side of things but is inevitably followed by the thought that some things are too good to be true. In some ways, it limits my happiness. I almost always have to think of a plan B just in case things don't turn out the way I wanted them to. It is draining and frustrating to say the least.
I don't exactly remember what was included in my things-that-make-me-happy list but I have a feeling it's somewhat silly or superficial. I can almost hear myself say, "eating strawberry cheesecake icecream on a hot day". Sometimes I say I am happy without hesitation. Other times, I can say I am content. Whether those two things are different or not is something I care not to worry myself over.
I remember a Bible study I participated in probably more than ten years ago. The aspiring-pastor-slash-cousin's fiancee asked, "what's the difference between joy and happiness". I vaguely remember what the answer was but it did made me wonder which feeling I associate myself more these days.
I don't know where I am getting at or the point of this entry. Blame it on the song, it made me think.
In any case, I passed my exam and I am now officially a registered nurse. I am happy and relieved about the result. Did I also mention that I am scared out of my mind? :$
6 comments:
CONGRATULATIONS!
you're scared but that's okay. channel it to cautiousness when you're working because you don't wanna mess up, right? it's good motivation. harhar.
hey missy, i have a question. i was fixing my immunizations stuff and the nurse attending me said that i have everything really, and then offered to do a meningitis and HPV one for me. she did the first one and then decided to not give me the HPV one, saying she'll have problems with the nursing school or whatever. know anything about that?
thanks! yeah..it definitely is a good motivation! haha.
hmm. meningitis here (as far as i know) is offered during elementary school. but i'm not too sure about her comment in the end about having problems with the nursing school . :$ she should have explained more. maybe you can clarify it again.
sorry..not much help in that department. :$
yeah. i don't get it. i really wanted the HPV one because it helps prevent cervical cancer. meh. it's 3 shots and i don't wanna pay 360 dollars if i can get it for free. i dunno, i went to a county health center. meh.
she only actually gave me the meningitis because she said her sweetheart died from it--she wasn't even supposed to give it to me, for some reason? is it because i'm older?
and yeah, was wondering...
have you gotten the HPV shots?
wow...360 for that?! ack. that's a lot of money. if you could get it for free, then that's even better.
i don't think i was given that or even required to have it done. :$
nope. i haven't gotten them, nor have i been offered to be given one. wonder if i'm missing out. err. i'll ask my friends...
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