Saturday, July 14, 2007

do you think of me too?


Taken from Whattheduck


This is how I've been feeling lately. My attention span rivals that of a one year old playing with a toy truck. As soon as I see something remotely interesting other than what's in front of me, I'm gone mentally way before my body decides to move. I lose interest in things so easily that thinking about it is a distraction in itself. Sigh.

As if that isn't bad enough, my memory is as dependable as the weather forecast for the week. I forget the topic of conversations even if it was just five minutes ago or it takes a lot of effort to remember certain events/things that were once embedded in my memory. Even more frustrating is knowing that you know whatever it is but for the life of you can't seem to recall the more important aspect of it. Sigh.

I guess it doesn't help that my mind if filled to the rim with trivial information, useless thoughts, anxiety-inducing what-ifs and questions that are left unanswered. I wish I had some sort of filing system in my head to organize my thoughts accordingly or at least prioritize them.

An acquaintance asked me if he already told me his life story. I joked that my memory is not that great and I'm not exactly sure what was said during our last conversation. He retaliated by saying it's probably because I only think about my boyfriend. I laughed and replied with a casual, "if he's the only thing in my head, then I wouldn't mind". I figured I don't need to tell him what I really think of most of the time. After all, a comment like that means two things to me. First, he doesn't know me enough. Second, I don't care about his life to file his love story in my memory bank as things-to-remember-no-matter-what category. As if I don't have enough useless information in my head. Sigh.

For now, I'll have to rely on this shady memory of mine and pray that the things I actually pay attention to matter. It would be a shame if I end up forgetting and dismissing what I once found interesting and important.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh wow, I can relate with this entry a lot!

First, that comic strip was spot on. I think I have some kind of ADD when it comes to things.

My memory isn't the greatest as well. That's why I love Dory, the lady fish with short-term memory loss. At least it's not as bad as Drew Barrymore's character on 50 First Dates. Yikes.

I find that writing things down or saving them onto my cellphone helps me remember things better. That is, if I don't forget to input them in the first place.

Phooey.

Anonymous said...

I love this entry. writing and topicwise. :D

as for your friend, well, it's kind of annoying, isn't it? he makes it sound so obligatory that you HAVE to know his story. meh.

all the stuff that's going on inside your head might--your new job might be why you're getting the jitters. thoughts and emotions settle, hopefully, when you get acclimatized and see that everything is fine because that's just how it is--you're brilliant. hehehe. think that way.

blueskies said...

@ toni: hahaha. oh yes, i could relate to dory. i just hope my memory isn't as bad as hers. eek! i usually have an agenda to jot things down too but for the meantime seems like my blog is my memory bank. :)

@ nikka: thanks! a compliment i'll take esp from you. :D exactly! it's funny but i don't even share much detail about my life with him to justify the way he thought about me. ahh. it's all good, i don't talk to him a lot. :D