goodbye and hello

A couple more hours and it will be 2008.

This means a few days or even weeks of getting used to jotting down 8 instead of 7 when it's time to write the date. Ah, yes, legal documents will once again be scratched and marked with my initials to correct this common mistake.

Anyway.

This will be the first year in my 23 years of existence that I won't be spending New Year's eve with my family. Sigh. I just hope my co-workers decide to bring some food to make things a little more festive. I was supposed to bring puto since it's my tita's specialty but she made it two days early. My mom suggested I bring empanada instead which doesn't seem to miss an apperance whenever there's a gathering at my house. Two boxes should be enough. I'll just stuff my face with food, take my break and hope time flies by fast.

must. think. happy. thoughts.

Anyway.

Happy New Year!

where did you go 2007?

I copied this from someone else. I'm not completely sure if my answers will really reflect what happened this year due to some sort of memory problems but that's okay. :D

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? I travelled by myself.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't remember if I did pro mise certain things but that's only natural. It could only mean that I didn't follow it either. Hehehe. Next year, I'm going to save. Yup, save. *rolls eyes*

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes

5. What countries did you visit? United States (New York border.. hahaha), Japan (stop over.. haha) and Philippines.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? Confidence.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? There's a few that I've probably mentioned throughout the year. :D

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Graduating.

9. What was your biggest failure? :$

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? The usual suspects, sneezing, coughing and dizzy spells.

11. What was the best thing you bought? First paycheck purchase, laptop.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My colleagues at work who helped me out any way they can.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? La di da.

14. Where did most of your money go? On random things.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Going back to Philippines after almost 10 years.

16. What song will remind you of 2007? I can't seem to remember any song in particular. I might have to listen to those top-100-songs before I can pick a song.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? happier b) thinner or fatter? gained weight (at least I'm convincing myself that) c) richer or poorer? richer (if only)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Sleep.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Be dramatic.

20. How did you spend Christmas? Niagara. Casino. Italian dinner. Kris Kringle. Bar with siblings. Hotel. Picture taking.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007? ;)

22. How many one-night stands? None.

23. What was your favorite TV program? Prison Break (until they escaped prison and went back for the nth time)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Does it have to be just one person? Hahaha. Errr, I'm kidding. *rolls eyes*

25. What was the best book you read? I don't even remember if I read any this year. Yes, it's pretty sad coming from someone who used to read so much.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? I loved Dancing by Elisa ever since I heard it from SYTYCD.

27. What did you want and get? Someone who understands my mood swings.

28. What did you want and not get? Confidence. Still.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Transformers. :D And maybe Enchanted. Haha

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Karaoke, BBQ and dinner. I turned 23.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hmmm. More grateful patients.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? T-shirt and jeans.

33. What kept you sane? Venting.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Wentworth Miller.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? War. War and war.

36. Who did you miss? My uncle.

37. Who was the best new person you met? Hmmm.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007? Sometimes, you just have to let go.

secret santa

After two Kris Kringles, I feel like I can start collecting pajamas. I bought two sets of pajamas thinking that I've never had one and within two weeks I received two more. I'm not complaining though. I can stay in pajamas all day if it was socially acceptable. Oh wait, didn't I just see a girl passing by wearing that outside? Errr. Maybe not then.

Word count: 3 pajamas in one sentence :$

------

After much deliberation and coercion from co-workers, I ended up attending our unit's Christmas party. Even though it meant I only slept for 3 hours because of work the following morning, it was worth it.

It was kind of odd to see everyone in some sort of fancy get-up which is way different from our drab scrubs. I almost didn't recognize some of them. Then add alcohol and music to that. :$

I was eventually pulled to the dance floor which also meant my boyfriend who insisted that he can't dance. I had to give him the look and he had to hear, "don't make me dance with your girlfriend" before he got up on his feet. A couple of upbeaty songs and one slow dance, we gave up and finished our free martinis. It was a cold night and I could have used a couple more shots of vodka or something before we went home because wearing a dress with a short jacket was a torture.

I think it was probably the safest party I've ever been to though. If anything happened, there's at least 10 doctors, a whole lot of nurses and a bunch of other health care people. :D

----------

I'm craving for candy cane hot chocolate with whipped cream

so this is christmas...

Christmas tree: check
24/7 Christmas songs: check
Christmas plans: check
Christmas gifts: errr

----------------

This year, I decided to treat the family to a different Christmas celebration. My mom's been talking about going somewhere else for Christmas to free her from food planning and clean-up after the party. Since this is the first year I have some "funds", I suggested we spend a night at one of those hotels at Niagara Falls. So far, I've booked a hotel room and the rest hopefully will take care of itself.

Christmas shopping on the other hand seems to be last on my list of things to do. It feels like all I do is work, eat and sleep. I'm tempted to give everyone a gift card instead. Haha. Hmmm. I'm not completely crossing that idea off my list just yet...

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21 more days to go.

Did I mention that I'm working on Dec. 31st and Jan. 1 night shift?

Yup, I will be starting the year off with: (a) giving medication (b) changing a patient's incontinent pad (c) answering call bells (d) toasting non-alcoholic chamgpagne with co-workers (e) calling family/friends

Oh, the possibilities. :D

the second trip

After a bit of a discussion with my family, I decided to head home and be the family representative (sort of) to say goodbye to my uncle. Although I missed the funeral itself and only visited the grave site, it was enough to see my aunt and cousin even if only for two weeks.

As with all goodbyes, it was spent reminiscing about the past and looking forward to moving on. Memories of our Puerto Azul trip was mentioned numerous times and those that were shared by other relatives and his coworkers and neighbors. It was kind of odd to be in the same house and not have my uncle there but that's how life is. Sigh.

Anyway.

The rest of my stay there was spent accompanying my aunt to file documents of all sort which meant waiting for hours and traveling to different places. Then SM became my hangout place during the afternoon to fill my luggage with the usual pasalubong just like last time. Í became the regular customer at Goldilocks and the internet cafe for one week. The girl who works there eventually called me by my first name as if we were long time friends much to my delight. :D One day was also spent at my hometown with my elementary friends which included drinking and talking about how we were before.

Airport stories and the rest will have to be on the next post. :D My goal for today is to recover from some sort of stiff neck after sleeping in an awkward position while in the plane for hours and hours. Eek.

Did I mention I'm back to work tomorrow?

Another EEK!

to my uncle

Thank you for:

... replying to my letters when I was a kid and not making fun of my chocolate factory drawings until I was old enough to laugh at my own silliness.
... bringing us pasalubong when you come home from work whenever we stayed at your house during summer vacation.
... making us laugh even when we're on the verge of crying for whatever reason.
... being the first to volunteer to pick any of us at the airport.
... taking time off work to drive us around anywhere we wanted to go.
... letting us stay in your room while you sleep in the living room.
... watching over us instead of taking a rest just to make sure we were safe.
... for introducing me to that amusing electric fly swatter.
... treating my siblings and I as if we were your own children.


I don't really know what else to say but to thank you for everything.

I'm happy to have had the chance to spend some time with you even for just two weeks. Vacation won't be the same without you there next time. We will miss you.

At least we have this memory...

yesterday

It took one picture to trigger the memories.

Sigh.

How can everything be changed by something so unexpected?
No signs or warning.
Or is it possible they were misconstrued as nothing?
I guess life is just full of unexpected events.

During these contemplative moments, I'm convinced that planning the future is merely for plan-b's sake.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

too much of something

* beep beep beep *

The annoying sound came from the carbon monoxide alarm plugged beside my bed. It was nothing new hence the lack of panic as I asked my dad to check it for me. The easiest solution was to open the windows and eventually unplug the alarm. It wasn't the smartest choice since we would have suffocated if there really was carbon monoxide but nowhere else in the house had the same problem. So off we both went upstairs while I suffered listening to my dad's theory as to why the alarm went off. He was convinced it's the pile of dirty clothes and the messy room that must have done it. His theory was that it emitted some sort of smell that could have triggered the alarm. Sigh.

Eventually, sleep wanted to take over my body. I closed the windows, or at least I thought I did. Fresh, cool air circulated the room which I did not mind. A few minutes later and I still felt cold. I convinced myself that I just needed to put more clothes and tucked myself under a layer of a blanket and comforter. I woke up every now because of the cold but I ignored it and blamed it on the heater that wasn't doing it's job well.

The next morning, what did I discover?

The window just above my bed was open. Who would have thought? Well, a less forgetful person for one.

It's one of those sayings, too much of something can't be always good. Fresh air, yeah... it was something I needed. It was just unfortunated that in the long run, it harmed me more than the good it did.

Tonight, I'll check my windows again. I don't want to suffer another cold night.

hello pimple

After nine hours of sleep, I woke up feeling crappy. Sleeping in is definitely a treat and a necessity after a few days of hard work or even after a day of leisure but it eventually leads to laziness and crankiness.

I finally convinced myself to leave my comfy bed and eat something to satisfy my empty stomach. I went to the washroom to brush my teeth and looked at myself in the mirror and thought to myself, "I'm not ugly". I don't think I'm being vain or experiencing some sort of ego-boosting-moment but merely a realization that I like myself.

I have a huge pimple on my left cheek taunting me every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And of course who could forget a few other imperfections that I care not to list as I've become accustomed to the fact that smooth skin has long been gone thanks to puberty. At that moment, I didn't care about those.

Anyway, before I get caught up in this whole thing... the point is that even if I didn't take a shower yet, no make-up to hide my blemishes, wearing a simple green top and messy hair, I still liked what I saw. :D

I'm just following what the priest suggested,start the morning with a I-am-beautiful mantra.

- end of moment -

the beginning

My orientation period finally ended and for the first time, I was responsible for 5 patients (full load is 6 at night). At the beginning of the shift, I kept praying for strength, guidance and help. I also gave myself a prep talk before leaving the locker room that things will be fine and that I am more than ready for this.

The charge nurse was kind enough to start me off with not-so complicated patients. Sure, they were enough to keep me busy but knowing the other type of patients we have on the floor, I was more than happy for the ones I got.

At night, the routine is usually: vital signs, bedtime medications, in-and-out a.k.a. "i'll have to empty your bladder now by inserting this tube blah blah blah", charting/documentation, rounds (changing everyone's incontinent pad and turning them to a different side), answering call bells, breaktime, medications, 2nd in-and-out and vital signs, reporting to the day shift nurse, charting/documentation.

I actually thought I was going to finish on time but things got hectic in the morning and before I know it, I left an hour later than everyone else. Sigh. Monday will be another challenge because I'll be on days and it's crazier. I need to learn time management because if I don't, goodbye break time, hello losing weight. Eek!

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Picture moment:

Im still debating whether to purchase and splurge on a fancy digicam. I already have a good point-and-shoot and it's not like I'll be going anywhere special or taking pictures of anything other than family members/friends/etc to need a certain type of camera. But... I want one. Haha. I've been looking around for great deals and consulting a couple of people. For the meantime, I'm happy with what I have:

tidbits

It's Thanksgiving a.k.a. Turkey Day today. Thankfully, I'm not working and missing out on another family gathering. Sure it would have been great if I had extra money to put in my bank account but that's another whine for another day. Besides, three days of consecutive 12-hour shifts were long enough to drain my energy. Anyway...yes, Thanksgiving.

Dinner today will be at my house. Whether we will have turkey or not will be left to those who will be willing to eat it for at least a week: turkey sandwich, soup with turkey, fried turkey etc. Yeah, the many faces of leftover dinner. But of course I'm very thankful we have food on our table. :P

Things to be thankful of: warm weather today / meaningful songs / 9 more minutes of sleep courtesy of snooze option / smoothies / sodium bicarb (long story) / late night phone calls / paid day-off / detergent smell / sales / everyday

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After my Saturday shift, my friend invited me to drop by her house because it was her daughter's birthday. I was a bit hesitant because of work the next day but decided it's not everyday I see her anyway. We ended up watching Pacquiao's fight there with a bunch of excited guys who ooohhh-ed and ahhhh-ed everytime a punch landed on someone's face. I must say that boxing can be both unbearable and exciting.

Of course, Pacman won and all is well in the boxing world again. I didn't know that he's only 28 though. I thought he was at least 30+. Errr. 0_o

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I decided to throw out/give away a lot of my old clothes. What's the point of keeping clothes that I haven't worn for a year? Unless they're for special occassion, there really is no excuse for storing them in my tiny dresser for whatever reason. It's kinda funny though because the decision making process of to-keep-or-not-to-keep seems to associate itself with memories too. I keep thinking of when I wore it and a certain moment flashes in my head like a picture.

I almost want to keep some for memories sake or for sentimental reasons but that would be a lame excuse.

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Jukebox tune: Walou by Outlandish

patience is a virtue

There are times that my patience has been drained to the last drop. And yet, I still smile out of politeness and in most cases, out of professionalism. It's a big word that I keep reminding myself of when my head is about to explode and mouth just itching to give someone a piece of my mind.

Someone told me in a matter of fact manner that she can never be a nurse because she doesn't have the patience to deal with people. I didn't respond fearing that the next thing I would blurt out was, "you're draining mine!!!" During these instances, I find time to go to the washroom, look at myself in the mirror, sigh deeply, smile and pray that time will go faster.

-----------------

It's Thanksgiving long weekend and I'll be working. Good thing though that Monday will give me a break to at least have some time with the family and maybe go for apple picking or just to have dinner.

The holiday wish list, as they call it, was finally displayed early on this week. It basically gives us a choice on which holiday we'd like to have our days off, Christmas or New Year's. I haven't decided yet. Christmas is a family tradition that entails going to the mass before midnight, opening presents early in the morning and eating a lot. New Year on the other hand deserves to be a stress free night because as the saying goes, however you feel during the beginning of the year will reflect on what will happen for the rest of the year. Sigh. Choices, choice.

wanna fight?

We finally had a chance to dine at Medieval Times. Although it was quite expensive and a bit awkward to eat with my fingers while trying to capture the moments with my point-and-shoot, the show was amazing. I wanted to take a picture with the Red and/or Black&White knight at the end but he got jealous because I was gushing too much about their hotness. Hahaha. Although I hate the idea of "treat me like a princess" mentality, the knight-in-shining-armour is a whole different concept I'm kind of attracted to. :P

----------------------
Ever since we discovered the cheap theater close to his area, we have been watching movies 1-2 times a week. The latest one was The Kingdom. I'm not a big fan of war movies unless they have a purpose (ie. Schindler's List) as oppose to merely glorifying violence and stereotyping certain religions/nationality. In my opinion, The Kingdom just happens to be the latter. The ending was just horrible because it leaves a bitter taste, if I may say so. The violence I could take (even though I gagged at certain parts) but the effect it can have mentally on people who are easily influenced by such encouraging words was uneccessary. Ah, world peace when will you be attained. When everyone is gone? Sigh.

-------------------

I wonder what has happened to the US dollar? Eek! Although it's kind of good to have the Canadian dollar worth more because that can mean shopping across the border will be even more rewarding, it will definitely have some consequences. I'm not one to dwell on the economic aspect of it but hopefully, whatever it may be won't be that horrible.

huh

When the priest says, "speak now or forever hold your peace" during a wedding, doesn't it seem like he's just asking for trouble?

And that little blurb has nothing to do with anything. Errr.

-------------------

I thought about something weird. Should I say it or should I just let it go? The question just floated in my head waiting to be recognized as something worthy to be discussed. I waited for a bit but things got in the way until I realized it's too late. Whether that is a good decision or not, I won't really know.

-------------------

One more week and my days of having a mentor to guide me to become a staff nurse will end. Ack! Three months of orientation went by so fast, I can't believe that I've been working for that long because the remnants of my wage at my bank account makes it seems like I just started. Sigh. "

I was gonna say more things about this but I'm sleepy. At least I'm off this coming weekend. Yey!

what was that?

I found this scribbled on a piece of tissue paper as I was throwing out a bunch of things:

"Anyone perfect can be lying..

Anything loved can be lost

Anything plain, can be lovely"

I'm not sure where I found/heard/saw this and I'm a tad lazy to put effort to do a quick search though. I just thought it was quite interesting and at times true.

----------------

It felt like I had something to talk about but my mind refuses to cooperate now. I guess it wants whatever it is to be a secret for now.

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And this song popped into my head: Diary by Bread

september, you love me don't you?

A day in bed (literally) does wonders:

1.) AHA! moment for a surprise/gift - My creative juices for gift giving has for some time been reduced to a drip or a squeeze once a month. This means, monthsaries are reduced to a card-giving routine or a movie-and-a-dinner extravaganza, if any. Sigh. Anyway, my trusty laptop, slow wireless connection and comfy bed led me to the city's entertainment centers listing. A few misses and I eventually clicked at Air Combat Zone. I'm not a big fan of shooting games or military/aircraft related stuff but someone is. From the description, we'll be aboard an F/A-18 Hornet air combat flight simulator. I just hope he does like it. :$

2.) Calculating September budget - I have yet to save a penny from my income so I typed up a budget. So far, it's been as laughable as my new year's resolution. Aside from my monthly bills that I have acquired, it's my mom's and my brother's birthday. I promised my brother that my gift will be putting an alarm on his car and my mom is hinting that she wants the same shoes I have. Aside from that, I haven't had a chance to treat the whole family for a dinner which is a must when someone in the family gets a job. Errr. So today, I was convinced budgets won't work for me. At least not this year.

3.) Recover - After three days of 12 hour shifts, I finally had a chance to sleep in and relax. Even though I've been leaving work late just in time to have a quick bite, a few minutes of much needed venting/conversation with anyone who would listen and 4-6 hours of sleep, I'm generally happy. This would be my life now and I need to adjust now and stop bitching and complaining every chance I get. Sure, there will be bad days, but hopefully good days will shadow those and all will be well. Daily mantra: life is good. *repeat x times*

Because of above reasons/excuses I missed on doing other things including: cleaning my room, 3 loads of laundry, getting a haircut, calling friends to make appointments to catch up.

I'll leave you with: Closer by Travis and Why Does It Always Rain On Me by Travis (I've been humming/singing these two songs out loud while working. Haha)

it's only words

I had to settle for this part of the garden because there were too many mosquitoes on the other side. I want the same ones in my future garden.

I've been wanting to go to this exhibition - Chinese Lantern Festival.

Everything was hand made and they looked great at night.

The entrance fee was a tad expensive but it was worth it.

I've been here for 9 years and this is the first time I've been here.

Even though I get sooo tired from work, I still try to go out during the days I'm off. We still have a lot on our list of places to visit and restaurant to dine in while trying to stay in budget. I've been working for two months now and I don't have any savings to show for. Sigh. Ah, money. As someone told me, worry about debt later because no matter what you do, you'll always be in debt. I guess that's one way of looking at it. :D

magic number is...

As the saying goes, my mind is racing in fifty different directions.

Summer, are you about to leave me again?
Damn fly why won't you leave me alone?!
Fly me to the moon is a great song.
Was it just a rumour that there will be two "moons" tonight?
I heard a rumour that they're not a happy couple afterall.
Are you happy with your job?, she asked.
She got a job at Japan teaching English at a small village.
I have small bite marks on my legs that I have no idea where it came from.
I took a bite out of that cheese biscuit and regretted following the saying, "try something new".
Is it really possible to have no regrets, even a tiny bit?
I'm a bit sleepy.
Sleepy is what I am as soon as I step foot inside the bus.
The bus ride usually takes me about fifteen minutes.
The minutes I spent drying my long hair could be spent doing something else.
I want to cut my hair today.
I have a cut on my arm that appeared out of nowhere.
Are we out of normal saline again?
We have been planning to go to the CN tower for weeks now.
I saw an article in the newspaper about a tall lego tower kids were trying to build.
Am I taller than you?
You told me you were going to call me yesterday but you fell asleep.
Yesterday, I almost skipped work out of sheer frustration.
All work and no play makes me a dull girl.
It's a baby girl!
Is that a baby crying I hear?
Good thing, the baby still recognized me after a month of not seeing me.
A trip to the mall to shop for clothes once a month is reasonable right?
Walking around the mall for hours on high heels was a stupid idea afterall.
How many hours do I spend staring at the computer screen everyday?
I never did bother to wear sunscreen during the winter.
I could have sworn he said he wears his jeans all year long without washing them.
He told me he'd like to marry me someday.
The only shoes I liked while shoe browsing are too expensive to be justified.
Do you want me to buy you shoes?
I want to go to the park and clear my head.
Is he a head or a spine?
He reminded me of someone.
Someone told me that I tend to exaggerate sometimes.
I have problems spelling certain words.
They assured me that problems are part of life.
I want to see Lifehouse perform "You and Me".
You still surprise me.
I'm still in awe about the things people do get attention.
I have short attention span.
I have a fear of buying too many things at a time and realizing I'm short by ten cents.
One time at band camp...
I miss camping.
The thought of missing what's really important in life scares me.
I mentally list the important things I need to accomplish and forget it was there in the first place.
Summer, don't forget to come back next year okay?

but they're busy

As I lay comfortably in my bed, typing away at my most expensive purchase to date, a fly keeps bumping in to the screen. I thought it was only moths that are attracted to light but then again I'm not an expert regarding the insect world. I'm not sure where they're coming from because there seems to be some sort of get together party in the kitchen. All I can say is that my mom won't be happy.


She's finally back after a three week unexpected trip to Philippines. The table is once again filled with yema, chicharon, pastillas, boy bawang and ding dongs. Yumm. I got clothes, a bag, pen, wallet and earrings. I only asked for unexpensive pearl earrings (because I lost the ones I bought) and a make-up remover from Bench. I bought it before out of sheer desperation to buy something extra and surprisingly it's the only one that I've tried that actually works without excessive rubbing whenever I use waterproof mascara.

--------------

The past week was anything but relaxing. I won tickets to a baseball game. My unit had a name-the-newsletter contest and thanks to one AHA! moment, I was given a chance to go to my first trip to the huge dome. Even though we didn't really stay for the whole game, I had a great time. We were even shown on the big screen twice! It was kinda funny coz I was trying to look where the cameraman is while trying to look as normal as possible. Hahaha.

The rest of the week was preparing for a surprise 25th wedding anniversary celebration. We were assigned to take care of the invitation and slide show. With the amount of time given to us, we did pretty well. I can only wish for something like that when I reach that part of my life too.

Even before the big day, I was also invited to a fancy dinner. Although I'm more of a fast food type of girl, every now and then I want to experience eating at fancy restaurants. Sure the food is expensive and the servings small but if everything else is perfect then it's worth it. I'm definitely suggesting that once a month we'll eat at different restaurants. Haha.

And before I have I go insane and hunt down that fly, I'm gonna go to sleep. I'm working nights this weekend and although it's good practice to sleep late, my body says otherwise.

The first comment I got from my aunt when we picked them up from the airport is how pale I look. Sigh.

do you hear me laughing?

A joke carelessly delivered spiralled in to an opening for something worth fighting over.
Í was just joking. I'm sorry.
It dídn't really matter. Sorry or not, it's already been said.
Echoes are hard to get rid off.
It sits in your mind waiting for the perfect opportunity to utter the same words.
Over and over again.
Am I overreacting? Maybe, maybe not.
That arguement will never be enough to lessen the damage.

But I am sleepy and tired of the same old.
I wake up tomorrow, feeling refreshed and convinced the echoes will eventually tire itself out.
It can't possibly last that long, right?
After all, my memory or is it my conscience that can't hold that kind of grudge?
I'm not too sure either.
All I know is that it doesn't have enough space for such silly things.

Goodnight.
Tomorrow will be another day.

you're gonna be the one that saves me

As much as I whine, bitch and complain about work, there are rewarding days or mere moments that make it worth while.

I was at the nursing station looking clueless, as I always do, when one of my patients from last week called me to come closer. He said he just wanted to thank me for being helpful and caring when I was assigned to him. It wasn't like it was the first thank you I've heard for the day but somehow it felt more genuine. I almost wanted to hug him and tell him that even though it doesn't seem much to thank me, it meant a lot. I wished him all the luck and promised to say goodbye again because I will be working the time he'll be leaving the hospital.

I can't really express or explain how much it affected me. It seems odd that a simple thank you actually made my day but it did. It may be because that in my profession, it is expected that I care for the patients and at times become their 24/7 service-at-hand just by pressing a call bell. It may also be because that not all patients bother to recognize what we do. Whatever the reason may be, I'm just happy I made a difference.

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*from Wonderwall by Oasis

no, no you're funnier

My life at the moment revolves around work. Social activities, plans, laundry days and even food intake depends on my schedule. Before I can make any move, a series of questions pass through my head:
(a) Is it my weekend on or off?
(b) Day or night shift?
(c) Eight hours or twelve?
(d) Am I gonna be too tired to function after work/planned activity?
(e) Can I take the day off?
(f) Can someone pick me up?
(g) Am I getting paid this week?

The rest might be too weird/funny to share but you get my drift.
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Ever find out something interesting/controversial/funny about a friend/family/acquaintance through their status in Friendster or Facebook?

I remember someone telling me how she found out her cousin got married without telling the family. She called him to confirm the news and instead of saying it was just a joke, he admitted it was the case. Sometimes its quite funny/sad how you can easily find out that a couple is fighting just by the way one or both changes their once "married/in a relationship status" to "its complicated". Sigh. Then other stalkers/friends might as well check out their pictures/comments to see if they have taken each other out. Then, it's a sure sign.

Even more disturbing if your gf/bf changes their status and you didn't even know you were fighting in the first place. Errr.
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Weather forecast: I still have a couple of activities/places to cross off my list before summer ends. The weather has been semi-cooperative and I'm optimistic that I will not be disappointed.

The only thing I miss is camping.

all work and no play

Yesterday's trip to the mall wasn't as fun as I hoped it would be. I mentally made a list of what I could/should buy: shoes, semi-formal/grown-up tops, baby shower gift and jeans. For someone who likes to shop, this would be an exciting opportunity but I am not one of them. It wasn't even about the money, I just can't be at the mall by myself.

I dragged my feet to every shoe store browsing at their collection of lifestyle/casual shoes hoping to find a replacement for the pair I bought in Philippines. I guess I shouldn't have made it into my nursing shoes even though the whiteness of it was just begging for it to be. Sigh. So now, I'm left shoe-less and frustrated. If after two more trips to the mall for shoe shopping leads to disappointment, I might have to ask my mom to buy me the same exact one while she's still in Philippines. Hehe.

----

A week ago, I cut my finger while attempting to crack open a vial of Gravol. Lucky me, my finger slipped right through the broken glass which led to bleeding and panic. It wasn't because I hate blood but more so because it would be embarrassing. Haha. Since I was at work, it was dealt with in a different way as I would have if I was at home:
(1) wash hands with antibacterial soap
(2) tell my mentor about said incident
(3) run to the supply room and apply gauze
(4) wipe it with alcohol swab (it stings!)
(5) put band-aid and a clear, waterproof dressing so I can still wash my hands later
(6) file an incident report
(7) prepare the medication again and go back to work
And so far I've had the manager, nurse-in-charge and the occupational health nurse ask me how my finger is doing.

-----------
While I was looking through my online album, I noticed two tags displayed that I have NEVER used: beautiful and gorgeous. Curious as to what pictures could possibly have those tags, I investigated. Much to my dismay, both were a unflattering picture of myself that I didn't particularly like. WTH!

So many odd things happening.

Did anyone get that circulating forward/email about "two moons on August 27"? Hopefully I'm not working that day. Superstitious nurses say that during a full moon, a lot of thing happen in the hospital. Eek!

rewarding myself

A few unscheduled purchases later, I am broke. :$

Yesterday, the plan was just to hang out and possibly help to clean someone's house. It's not exciting but it's way better than just staying at home and wondering why I'm by myself on the weekend I'm off. Then a question was thrown casually, "you want to go to Sony store?" Of course I couldn't resist the temptation and blurted out yes. A few minutes inside the store, disappointed at their lack of cheaper memory card for the digicam, I spent my money instead on a leather case. Overpriced but it looked cute. That's enough justification if you ask me.

Unsatisfied, we went to a better store and a couple minutes later I applied for the store's credit card. Surprisingly my limit is enough to make someone cringe and protest as to why I should get so much. I joked that it's good for "emergencies". Errr. To make a long story short, I bought a laptop. I didn't bring it home yet because I might get in trouble for over spending when I've only had one pay so far. Sigh.

------------
Memory lapse moment: I was pretty good today, I didn't spend a lot. | Umm yes you did. | You mean my shaver? *a few seconds later* Oh yeahhhh those. :$

------------

My mom's not here for three weeks and I have a feeling I'll be losing much needed pounds. Sigh. It is hard to live off noodles, eggs and limited (or none at all) cooking skills.

oh the heat, the heat

Finally, I can say that it's summer. Not because I've been doing my usual summer activities. Not even because I don't have school to worry about. But simply because it's HOT!

I must admit that setting my shower to warm on a hot day does not help my goal to feel fresh. At the end of it, I keep wondering whether I'm still damp from the shower or if I'm already sweating.

-------------------

It's been two weeks of night shift and as expected, it has taken a toll on my body. My appetite barely exists and my sleep pattern screwed up. Good thing I have three days to adjust before I start on days. After getting paid, there is something to look forward to. There are days that I just want to call-in-sick but still go through the motions of getting ready until I'm convinced that it would be a waste of effort to get back to bed.

In any case, it's my weekend off and I have no plans. Sigh.
--------------------

I have too much to write but I keep doubting my grammar and it's bugging me. I write in incomplete sentences at work (charting) and I'm tempted to do the same. Maybe next time. Errr.

money, money, money

It's pay day today and I have yet to see my hard work translated into $. Since this is my first salary, I'm overly excited and checked my account as soon as I felt like it wasn't too early to exert effort. Disappointment never fails to disappoint me though. It wasn't there and two things ran through my head: (a) Did I give the right banking information to pay roll? (b) Is it really pay day today?

Hmmm.

Maybe I'll just wait. It's not like I had plans to go out and spend said hard-earned money on maybe a laptop or much needed shoes. Anyway, I'm drawn to the Sony VAIO's cuteness. Gasp. How can I possibly choose a laptop this way? Well, it's because I've consulted computer geeks (yes, they know I call them that and I say it with affection. haha) and it's okay. As for the shoes, I have to wait until we cross the border and shop at Buffalo. I'm still undecided about the laptop and might only be convinced if only I can see how much I earned.

And since I know Disappointment almost always shows up like an uninvited guest at the most inopportune time, I decided to round up my expected salary to the lowest possible amount. Apparently, deductions are a killer. So now, I wait.

Tomorrow and the rest of the weekend will be spent sleeping during the day and working at nights. Hello pimples and eyebags. Goodbye bed.
-------------------------

Memory lapse moment:
him: Remember when we passed by that dinosaur foot print and I pointed it out to you?
me: When?
him: Umm...an hour ago?
me: Are you sure I was listening when you were talking?
him: Yeah. You even said something.
me: Oh. I honestly don't remember that conversation.

I wonder what else my memory has been depriving me of?!

are you happy now?

As I listen to this Michelle Branch song, my state of mind changes into a particular mood reserved for a lazy Sunday afternoon or a rainy day spent lying in bed. I automatically link it to a time that generated a feeling of discontent about the various aspects of my life. In other words, for me it's a thinking song.

A friend of mine asked me if I was happy. I am a reluctant optimist. I always hope for the best and try to see the good side of things but is inevitably followed by the thought that some things are too good to be true. In some ways, it limits my happiness. I almost always have to think of a plan B just in case things don't turn out the way I wanted them to. It is draining and frustrating to say the least.

I don't exactly remember what was included in my things-that-make-me-happy list but I have a feeling it's somewhat silly or superficial. I can almost hear myself say, "eating strawberry cheesecake icecream on a hot day". Sometimes I say I am happy without hesitation. Other times, I can say I am content. Whether those two things are different or not is something I care not to worry myself over.

I remember a Bible study I participated in probably more than ten years ago. The aspiring-pastor-slash-cousin's fiancee asked, "what's the difference between joy and happiness". I vaguely remember what the answer was but it did made me wonder which feeling I associate myself more these days.

I don't know where I am getting at or the point of this entry. Blame it on the song, it made me think.

In any case, I passed my exam and I am now officially a registered nurse. I am happy and relieved about the result. Did I also mention that I am scared out of my mind? :$

do you think of me too?

Taken from Whattheduck

This is how I've been feeling lately. My attention span rivals that of a one year old playing with a toy truck. As soon as I see something remotely interesting other than what's in front of me, I'm gone mentally way before my body decides to move. I lose interest in things so easily that thinking about it is a distraction in itself. Sigh.

As if that isn't bad enough, my memory is as dependable as the weather forecast for the week. I forget the topic of conversations even if it was just five minutes ago or it takes a lot of effort to remember certain events/things that were once embedded in my memory. Even more frustrating is knowing that you know whatever it is but for the life of you can't seem to recall the more important aspect of it. Sigh.

I guess it doesn't help that my mind if filled to the rim with trivial information, useless thoughts, anxiety-inducing what-ifs and questions that are left unanswered. I wish I had some sort of filing system in my head to organize my thoughts accordingly or at least prioritize them.

An acquaintance asked me if he already told me his life story. I joked that my memory is not that great and I'm not exactly sure what was said during our last conversation. He retaliated by saying it's probably because I only think about my boyfriend. I laughed and replied with a casual, "if he's the only thing in my head, then I wouldn't mind". I figured I don't need to tell him what I really think of most of the time. After all, a comment like that means two things to me. First, he doesn't know me enough. Second, I don't care about his life to file his love story in my memory bank as things-to-remember-no-matter-what category. As if I don't have enough useless information in my head. Sigh.

For now, I'll have to rely on this shady memory of mine and pray that the things I actually pay attention to matter. It would be a shame if I end up forgetting and dismissing what I once found interesting and important.

counting the hours

A week of orientation - 4 classroom days and one on the unit.
I'm tired.

I have been accustomed to sleeping late and waking up at 9 or later for the past few months that it was next to impossible to adjust to my new schedule. My eyes are so puffy every morning that no amount of makeup can hide the four hours or less sleep I had.

Everyday for 8 hours, newly hired nurses were given presentations about everything from work benefits to basic respiratory care. My brain was probably half asleep for most of it. Sigh. I couldn't even think straight when I had to fill out a form for life insurance especially the part wherein I get to decide who will receive the money when I die and how much percent they will get. I kept thinking how morbid it was to fill out such a thing. Errr.

As for the unit, it kind of felt like home. Luckily, I knew the nurse I was shadowing for the day and I was also with a new grad. My preceptor and the nurses from my rotation last semester were there too which made me more comfortable and less anxious. Sadly, I'll be in another rotation when I actually start which means I wouldn't know who they are. Sigh. And even more daunting is I'm officially starting on nights. Eek. I guess insomnia will be my friend. I have a feeling that my sleeping habits will be more screwed up than it already is. Three days straight of nights, 1930-0730. Ack!

Too bad I won't see the fruits of my labour until the last week of July - pay day. :D

i promise, now it's your turn

Can I tell you a secret?
Yeah, sure.
But you have to promise that you'll never tell anyone. Not even your boyfriend.
Oh that kind of secret? Are you sure you want to tell me?
Yes.
Okay then.
Promise?
Promise.

I often joke that promises mean nothing to me. At least I try not to put much importance to it because they are after all made to be broken. But in some cases, secrets are secrets and they are meant to stay that way.

A friend of mine once said that when someone tells you a secret, it is expected that you will tell someone about it. According to him, we all have this need to share what we know and the one person we tell it to is the exception in the "tell no one" clause. It can be a boy/girlfriend, a sibling or a friend. It's not because you want to spread the secret entrusted to only you (at least that's what you are led to believe) but it's because it's in our nature. As simple as that.

As for this secret that my friend told me, I think I might just have to break that assumption. Maybe I really don't have to tell anyone. Not even my boyfriend. Yup, not even him.

--------------------------

Can I keep you forever?
Yes.
Promise?
I promise.

long weekend musings

couch potato moment: I realized that watching TV with him for 6 hours means that the remote control will have a workout. Out of all the shows he could pick, he decided to watch truck racing - lap 48 out of 200. *yawn* Since my attention span will never last that long, I switched it to a comedy show. That didn't last long either and we're back to the Discovery channel talking about how toothbrushes are made. I must agree that its fascinating but when they started talking about big machines, my brain decided to give up again. I'm happy to say that I did eventually win because I begged that the Linkin Park concert will give me great joy. He decided to sleep. Haha.

it's a small world #26: when you see your dentist on a debut when you were absolutely sure there would be no connection

dream #52: riding a motorcycle on a mountain road wherein one false move would mean death. It was exhilarating! I even got a lesson from my uncle who taught me how to turn the bike while almost touching the ground. The move was called Yugi-oh. Haha.

there's always a first time #40: drive-in theater. Last year, he asked me if I wanted to go for our first date. I said no because it was too far and I think my parents would make a big deal out of it since it'll mean I'll be home wayyy past the pretend midnight curfew. Last night, my mom called in the middle of Knocked up asking me where I am and reminding me to go home soon. Of course this is unfair because my siblings stay later more often than I do. I think my dad's ignoring me because I got home around 2:30. Eek. Other than that, it was fun. :D

*all numbers are made up. :P

it's gonna be a lovely day

Everyday the phone rings and everyday I answer it hoping my effort won't be for nothing. But of course, it's the same damn number. I answer only to hear the busy tone. Upon a quick search in ever reliable Google, I found a forum board of some sort discussing the same calls they get from this number. Ack! I'd rather get telemarketers than this nonsense.

-------------------

After three weeks of freedom from my braces, I finally have wire retainers. The dentist and her assistant must have told me to ONLY take it off when I'm eating. They know me too well. Although it is less obtrusive than my braces, I feel more uncomfortable with it. And just like the same appliances that block the movement of my tongue before, it results in some sort of lisp or unrecognizable words.

-------------------

It's Canada Day on July 1 and it translates into a long a weekend. Yey! Unfortunately, I can't leave the house, at least not for the whole day like I would normally do, due to familial obligations. He agreed to keep me company and probably just watch movies and eat pizza for the whole day. My parents are going camping and my siblings have a life of their own.

What I would really like to do is go to the park and play with a Frisbee or badminton. We don't have either.

Maybe I was just inspired while watching Wimbledon to move around.

-------------------

I didn't gain a single pound while on my summer break. If anything, I lost at least two. Ack!

* The title will be a tribute to those optimists. Including me. Most of the time.

kiddy adventures

After 5 days of staying at home and not doing ANYTHING summery, the weekend balanced my inactive life.

We went to the arcade, which to my dismay did not have any fighting games to satisfy my sometimes violent self. Fortunately though, they had one of those deals wherein for $25, you can play for four hours. Woo hoo! We initially thought that four hours will eventually bore us but that didn't happen. We were even a bit sad when it went by so fast.

I am proud to say that my shooting skills was way better than his. He only beat me in the end because it's kind of tiring to hold the gun straight. And another accomplishment was finally racing with 7 other people and not being the last one. On our way home, he even said "I can't believe you know how to drive like that. It made me like you more". Hahaha. Bonus points for me. :D

As for Sunday, it was spent with him at the church and at a kid's party in the park. I'm really happy that I did go to church because they had a speaker that lived a life one can only imagine. It really takes an interesting story/person to keep my attention for longer than 30 minutes. After that, we headed to the park which was one of the biggest I've ever been to. I wish I had a bike to explore it or at least a mat to just relax in. The highlight of that park trip was unfortunately when he decided to leave me sitting by myself to sleep for a bit. He woke up with bird poo on his face. Hahaha. They say it's luck, I say otherwise.

---------------------
After watching SYTYCD, I fell in love with this song: Dancing by Elisa.

I'm dancing in the room as if I was in the woods with you
No need for anything but music
Music's the reason why I know time still exists

q&a

As I requested, Paul interviewed me. I hope my answers made sense. I just realized that I can never be interviewed because my answer will always be vague or safe. ;)

1. Was there any college course you wanted other than nursing? Why do you want that?
If talent, skills and creativity would not be a problem, I would have loved to take something art related. I was properly introduced to art when I was in Grade 9 (first year hs). There's just something about art that's challenging and liberating. Unfortunately, I was somewhat of a perfectionist which did not really work since I'm not naturally artistic. Errr.

2. What would make you leave Canada and decide to stay in the Philippines for good?
If I'll have the same opportunities and perks of living in Philippines as I do here in Canada. If I list all of those, I might end up sounding like an ungrateful child.

3. What's your typical day like? What do you want to change from it? Why?
Since I am unemployed (until July), my typical day is lounging around the house. I wake up, eat, daily dose of internet-related stuff, sing karaoke, watch TV, look after my grandma and do some chores. As much as I love staying home, I get restless and start to imagine all the things I could do. I would love to go bowling, play in the arcade, go to parks, visit art museums, have dinner/lunch dates (friends) or walk around downtown. ANYTHING but nothing. Life at the moment is monotonous and I need it to change because this will be the last summer break I get once I start working.

4. What's the nastiest thing you have ever done to a guy? Why?
I don't think anything I have done to a guy would be qualified as nasty. ;) Is that being too safe? Haha. I might have to get back to this question another time. :D

5. What's the most daring thing you've done so far?
This unfortunately will affirm the fact that I am quite boring. I don't think I have done anything that will be considered daring by myself or those that personally knows me. It would be fun to ask them because maybe, just maybe, I have in fact stepped out of my box every now and then.

So yes, the last two questions I failed. Haha. Thanks for the questions Paul, I will have to do something about those ones and maybe I'll have a better answer next time. ;)

another milestone

I finally graduated. My four years in university ended at the same place I started my orientation as a clueless first year student. It was kind of an emotional day even though I didn't shed a tear. It felt like highschool. Only this time, I don't have an award and my name wasn't mentioned as one of the the honour students. I miss being a nerd.

My parents and cousin attended the three hour long ceremony. They even saw me in the screen because the school wanted to sell and broadcast it live for those who did not have a chance to go inside the theater and those that could only watch it online. I think that's kind of cool. :D I was talking to the girl beside me and I don't like video cams so I opted not to make any eye contact. Haha.

To celebrate, my mom decided that we should go to a Japanese restaurant where they cook your food in front of you. It was my second time there and I'm still amazed at the skill of the chef (?). He was pretty funny too. He actually launched a shrimp tail on my dad's forehead pretending to aim it on his mouth. My dad's bald which made it even funnier. Errr.

All in all, it was fun and I can now have a big sigh of relief. :D

Graduation loot bag: a jogging (?) pants with NURSE written behind it (haha), an overpriced frame to display my degree on, money, two dresses and a shopping spree at AE.

As one girl told me, "someone's on cloud 9".

wedding plans

No, I'm not getting married yet. I just thought I'd get that out of the way.

On our way home, my friends and I talked about what kind of details are needed to have a decent wedding. I've never been one to constantly think of how it will be like. I'm the complete opposite of that girl in the movie The Wedding Planner. I don't have a book of cut-out pages from a bridal magazine or even a theme that I must have. I even cringe at the idea of everyone looking at me/us for the entire time.

One of them decided that a cherry blossom theme would suffice while a message-in-a-bottle seems like a romantic idea imagined by the other. I joked that if I get married first, one of those will definitely be mine. That just shows my lack of creativity. This is how our conversation went:

me: In my wedding, you guys will have to wear rainbow-coloured dresses. I can't have you looking prettier than me.

friend: I'm not getting married. Live-in sounds like a good idea.

friend: I'm only inviting 25 people. That's it.

friend: I don't need flowers. Who cares? All I need is one for myself.

----------------
him: Do you want to get married?
me: No, not right now.
him: When?
me: You don't know me yet. Trust me, you don't want that.
him: What makes you say that?
me: And besides you're not ready yet.
him: Umm..yes I am.
me: Whatever. [giggles]
him: I'm serious.
me: Ask me again when you know for sure I'll say yes.
him: That's what scares me. You might not say yes.
me: Then I guess you better make sure that it is the right time.
him: ...

(I'm really sweet. Errr.)

The picture was taken during Luminato. There were 20 high-powered beams controlled by 10 sensors that translates the heartbeat of the person holding the controller into how the light will move and flicker. I could have stayed up hours and hours just looking at it. The Brazilian drummers (I think) also played a couple of stimulating musical beats that attracted a lot of body-shakers. Haha.

--------------------
Really, no plans of getting married yet. No matter how many times people ask. I'm sure the phrase never say never might come up but really. Errr.

the aftermath

Just like other things in life, the end of the exam was bittersweet. I'm relieved and happy that it is finally done but at the same time, scared out of my mind as to what the result will be.

Almost everyone who wrote that exam walked out feeling unsure of their fate. I'm trying so hard to be optimistic by saying that miracles do happen. I guess all I can say now is I tried my best. I'm just hoping that the next phrase won't be, but I guess my best wasn't good enough.

I think I've been singing karaoke wayyy too much. Haha.

-------------

I finally had my braces off yesterday. After five years, it feels weird to brush my teeth without the roughness of the wires. The toothbrush just glides with minimum effort that I actually enjoy it. Haha. The only funny thing about them are the way my teeth looks yellow. Sigh. I can't wait for my cleaning appointment on Monday.

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I'm back to my old job: part-time gardener. The forget-me-nots and bleeding hearts are blooming once again. I'm tempted to take lots of pictures and post them everywhere in my room. It's been a while since I took random shots anyway.

The weather is still a bit temperamental. A forecast of thunderstorm today and bright sunny weather tomorrow.


------------

I have about five days to look for a graduation dress. Sigh.

Another thing to sigh about is that I can't go to Cancun with my friends. They were trying to convince me to just use my magical card and worry about paying it later. I would have said yes if the cost was half of what it really is.

the day before

Same time tomorrow, I will be in my seat with hundreds of nurses taking the exam to have that coveted RN title after our name - if we pass. *dun dun dun*

I've been a wreck since the week started because just thinking of it makes me either (a) cry (b) plan what I will do if things doesn't work out (c) read pages upon pages of diseases or (d) sing karaoke. I can't wait to get this over with. Hopefully the end result will be good.

He came by to give me a good luck hug today. It was a surprise. Even though he only stayed for 10 minutes because he had to go to work, it was really sweet. I find small things like this makes me happier than grand gestures.

------------------

Why is it soooo gloomy?! The sky is gray, its been raining since the weekend and the breeze is just too cold. Sigh.

I'm kind of hoping that by Thursday, the sun will shine once again and stop this silliness.

------------------

I've been shopping even though I don't have an income or money. How is that possible you might ask? Well, by a magical card that you swipe. Eek! This week, I bought two tube tops and two tank tops. It's kind of reasonable because I don't know if I can wear the tubes by themselves. It seems risky. And besides, they're not expensive. Errr.

------------------

Okay, I'm gonna study now.

between you and me

The thought of failing scares me. It is not even about feeling stupid after it that I am worried about, it's the fact that EVERYONE knows that I am taking it.

My friends and I talk about it all the time. How many times have I heard my parents talk about money and how I can finally help pay whatever debt or loan we have acquired over the years? How many conversations have I had with family and friends about the fact that I am going to finally be a nurse?

I've joked so many times that if this ever happens, I will either (a) lock myself in a room and never leave the house (b) check myself in the nearest mental facility (c) commit an unspeakable deed (d) go back to Philippines and let four months pass by.

I'm an optimist but if my friend who is part of many nursing clubs a.k.a. smart-enough-to-be-invited-to-fancy-ceremonies, on the Dean's list and an all around A+ student almost failed the readiness test, what about me? I'm not stupid but I don't retain information as well as I used to. Sigh.

------------------

It seems like I have trust issues, relationship-wise. It's not that he isn't trustworthy or that I think he will ever cheat on me, I just feel incapable of giving myself fully. There's always that voice in my head reminding me to take a step back in case our relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes I just tell it to shut up but it comes back.

I don't keep it a secret. I tell him. He assures me and I say okay. It's a cycle.

-----------------

I missed the PostSecret exhibition because I was too drained from studying. The weather was also uncooperative and decided to rain at random times. I'm kind of disappointed because it's the only one planned for this year here in Canada. Sigh.

procrastinating

I'm at school at the moment.
Alone.
Semi-studying.
And half asleep.

The sun is shining and inviting me to go outside and play.
I can even hear the wind call my name.

But then I remembered, "all play and no work makes me stupid".
Or something like that.

I will resume studying.
Endocrine system. Check.
Neurologic disorders. Check.

Breathe in. Out. Repeat.

Every thought is distracting.

Lunch. Snack. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Friend. Weekend. Pictures.

Ack.
Sigh.
Ah yes, repeat the cycle.

talk, talk, think

girl: Is he cute?
boy: Umm... I don't know.
girl: It's a simple question - is he cute?
boy: I really don't know.
girl: Are you not secure about your masculinity that you can't even answer a simple question?
boy: I just don't know.
girl: Really! Is he cute?!
boy: Fine. I guess he is.
girl: Was that so hard? *sigh*

-----------------

girl: I'm returning this book and I would like to pay for my fines.
librarian: Okay. Can I have your card? [scans the card] That will be $3.50.
girl: [relieved and hands a $20 bill] Here you go.
librarian: [looks at bill and computer] Don't you have change?
girl: Not really.
librarian: [looks at computer more] Can't you pay it later?
girl: [irritated] I guess.
[walks away puzzled]

-----------------

girl: [thinking] Did he just say that...? But, I thought. Errr. Wow. Wait...but I swear he mentioned that... I guess not? Hmmm. Should I say something? Probably not. But what if ... ?

-----------------

girl: Do you want me to ask you permission if I go somewhere?
boy: Yeah...
girl: You're kidding right? I don't even ask my parents for permission when I go out. I just tell them.
boy: Well, I'm you're boyfriend.
girl: So? [giggling]
boy: How about just holidays and long weekends? What if I have plans.
girl: The key word there is if YOU have plans. You can tell me and then we'll go from there. How's that?
boy: [frustrated]

---------------

I can't stop listening to Yakap sa Dilim and Nakapagtataka.
I went through the Cardiac and Pulmonary system questions and realized I'm screwed.
I wore a tank top and a skirt yesterday because it clearly said 28 degrees but it didn't feel like it.
I haven't slept pass 12 since I came back.
I saw Knocked Up for free because of an early screening ticket and it's the funniest movie I've seen lately.